My gaze dropped to Patrick again. I wanted him to choose me. I did not know him well, Zoya refused to translate all day, but he was sweet. He noticed early that I preferred the dark meat on the platter and would put it closer to me so that I could enjoy it. His eyes, dark green like the forest I loved so much, were always soft, full of what I hoped was affection. I wanted to keep him, to bond with him, but many continued to remind me he would not stay forever. Once he was healed, he would leave. And my heart would go with him.
“You like him,” Finn murmured.
I hummed and did not bother to deny it. “He calls to me.”
“Oh. You want to bond with him?” He sounded surprised, drawing my attention off of Patrick’s sweet face. “I thought it was only temporary.”
“Would he choose me, I would not say no. But it is not my choice to make. You know this.”
Finn looked as though he would start crying with my response, startling me.
“What’s wrong? What did I say?”
He wiped a stray tear, shaking his head. “It’s nothing. You are just very sweet. All of you are. I wonder who started those awful rumors about you. If people knew just how sweet you all are, I’m sure they would be clamoring to join you.”
The idea made me smile, but I shook my head. I did not believe that. It was not only our clan that had tributes, and notall were like us. It was because of them that the rumors existed. We did not deal with them often, but the few clan wars we had were with them. I would not tell Finn this, though. He was a gentle soul, and I did not want to frighten him.
He stayed for a while, keeping me company while I lay with Patrick. After a time, Patrick’s grip on me loosened as he fully relaxed, but I could not make myself move from him, and thankfully, no one asked me to. It was only when Rath returned from the hunt that Finn left.
“Verus.”
I looked up at Finn in the entrance to the tent. He looked soft and full of affection. I wasn’t sure what I’d done to earn that look.
“Hmm?”
“You are his protector. He feels safe with you. He wouldn’t cling to you otherwise. If he wants to stay, I hope he chooses you, too.”
My heart ached for it, but I chose not to repeat it. I was not the one who chose. It was up to Patrick if he thought I was worth staying for.
It was latewhen I woke up with Verus pressed up against my side. I’d slept a lot longer than I thought I would. The fire in the center of the tent was tempered, not so overwhelming but still warm. Even if it was out, I would probably still be plenty warm, thanks to Verus’s presence next to me. He was asleep, his forehead resting against mine, his arm not being used as a pillow thrown across my waist.
I shut my eyes for a moment, soaking it in. I was being held by a handsome man who cared for me, and there wasn’t anylingering fear that we would be caught and killed for it. Finn assured me more than once that being attracted to men was fine here. He would know, being bonded to one. I wished I could keep things like they were forever. But they liked to remind me I wouldn’t be here for very long. I shouldn’t get used to being held like this.
My breath stuttered as I fought the urge to cry. Why did everything have to be so grim? Why couldn’t I just be happy for once? I’d thought I had that, for just a split second, when Richard confessed to me. It hurt that he gave me that moment, only to rip it away from me again. I couldn’t stomach feeling that way twice, but I didn’t want to end up alone, either.
Verus’s hand moved from my waist to cup my cheek, his thumb stroking over the skin. My eyes flew open in surprise, and I sucked in a sharp breath when I remembered how close he was.
“Why is Patrick sad?”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to explain. I didn’t want him to remind me again that I couldn’t stay.
“I want to make you happy,” he murmured, his brow drawing tightly together. “How can I make you happy, Ravsol?”
He’d called me that before. I still didn’t know what it meant. It didn’t really matter right now. He was offering me happiness and for just one moment, I wanted to seize it. To give myself a better experience than what Richard had done to me.
“Can… Can you kiss me?”
Verus sucked in a breath, and I squeezed my eyes shut, preparing myself for the rejection. I didn’t see it coming when he pressed his lips against mine. So soft and slow, like the first day after he scared me when he would creep through every motion to not frighten me again. I couldn’t easily chase after him when he pulled away, so I pulled him back down with a gentle grasp on his neck. He groaned into the next kiss, wrapping himselfaround me, surrounding me with him. I threw my arms around his neck, sinking into the kiss with abandon.
It was… perfect.
Everything I ever dreamed of.
I never ever wanted to stop.
Couldn’t I have this forever?
Nine
