“Love you, Merci.”
“I love you too, Perc.”
My day was made. Even though I didn’t like seeing him like that, it was good to see him in good spirits. My intentions were to break thing off with him completely, but he shut me down. I didn’t want to, but things had to change. My daughter would be here if it wasn’t for his baby mama. His mama may still be alive if it wasn’t for his ass too. It was things like that making me wish I could walk away from him and never look back but my heart was telling me to wait it out.
I promised his daughter that we would eat ice cream today with her TT Blessyn. Lately, she’s been the little light that made me feel better since losing my own child. My daughter looked just like her except she was light skinned like me. Spending time with her gave me hope that one day I’ll be able to have a baby of my own. I stopped to grab our ice cream with all the trimmings and headed back to my car to run right into Ben and his wife. I was hoping they didn’t see me but leave it to her to want to start some shit.
“I knew I would run into your ass soon.”
“Look, you got your nigga right? Why are you sweating me? I don’t want him no more and I ain’t fucked with him in forever. He’s all yours ma. Get the fuck off my nuts ‘bout him.”
“Who the fuck you think you talking to?”
“Ben please get your wife. Are you still feeling me or some shit for her to still have animosity against me?” We both looked at him.
He stood his goofy ass there and didn’t say a word. That let me know his ass still wanted me but couldn’t say what he wanted to say in front her manly looking ass. I saw right through his ass but I was no longer stuck in his web. When I got stranded in Tennessee, I told myself that I would never deal with him again.
“You gone answer her? We both want to know,” his wife stated.
“Come on.” He grabbed his wife’s hand and pulled her towards the entrance of the store.
“Was that my husband baby you had?” She stopped and snatched her hand away.
I didn’t owe this bitch shit. What I had just went through with my daughter was traumatizing and the only person that I had to worry about how they felt was Perc.
“I don’t owe neither of you shit, now have a nice damn day.”
I drove off looking in my rear-view mirror at the two then still standing there. They could think and assume all they wanted. That was something they had to deal with and not me. I was over dealing with niggas and their bitches fucking with me. If I couldn’t have that nigga to myself, I don’t want them.
Iwoke up this morning feeling heavy. My back was hurting, my head was hurting, and I just didn’t feel like doing shit. Lucky was gone to handle business and Merci had Perc’s daughter, so I was left home alone. Not that I mind, having a toddler in the home that was always on ten was a bit much during my last few weeks of pregnancy. This was my time to relax and make myself feel like something because lately I was looking and felt like shit. Lucky would occasionally say something nice to me, but it didn’t make me feel better.
I showered, did my hair and put on some clothes that made me look a little appealing. Since my stomach had dropped, I knew that my days were getting shorter and my son would be here before I knew it. I hadn’t gone to Khi’s auntie flower shop in months so she wouldn’t have to question me about the fatherof my child. Lucky and I were not a secret, but we didn’t like people in our business either. I parked my car and got out to get some flowers for my son’s grave. She noticed me approaching and rolled her eyes.
“Is this why we haven’t saw you in months?” She said as I leaned over to catch my breath.
“Partially.”
“I don’t care what you do with your personal life. We didn’t expect you to stop your life just because Khi is gone. Who’s the lucky guy?”
“Nobody important. Do you have some flowers ready for me?”
“You know the streets do a lot of talking, Blessyn. You went off and got married. Then you let the nigga knock you up and now he’s a nobody? Girl go play with someone else.”
“Do you have flowers or not? I just need some for Kj.”
“None for Khi? What your husband told you that you couldn’t put any on his grave anymore?”
“No, I just much rather focus on my son. Khi had plenty women besides me that could put fresh flowers on his grave. No disrespect to y’all or anything but I’ve found out information that makes me not want to have anything to do with him. He has y’all and my son has me.”
“Well go buy your damn flowers somewhere else. My nephew was good to you, and you gone stand in my face and tell me some shit like that.”
“Fine, I didn’t come here to argue. My son was your family too. Don’t be mad at me for not being a fool for him even while he lays in his grave.”
This was the reason I stayed away. I walked back to my car and struggled to get in. She stood there staring at me as I left. I was washing my hands with any dealing with his family. Her ass probably knew about his side child and all. The local Kroger’shad some pretty fresh flowers that I snatched up and headed to the cemetery. Lucky’s car was parked close by which made me park further off and walk up. Without interrupting him, I stood aloof watching him on his hands and knees cleaning my son's gravesite. He laid out fresh flowers and opened some match boxcars that he lined up.
“I didn’t know you lil’ man but your mama is special to me, and I promise to take care of her for you. She’s mad at me for what I’ve done to you but if you were here now, I would give you the world just like I’m going to do your little brother.”
The tears fell from my eyes listening to him. I could hear him sniffle and wipe his face before I walked closer. Khi’s grave was a mess which made me feel some type of way. I don’t know what came over me, but I snapped as soon as I got close to him.
