“You led him right to us and you acting like you don’t care.”
“What do you want me to say, Lucky? You dumped me and that’s it. I shouldn’t have to explain shit else to you. As long as I’m taking care of your son properly then there should be no problem between us. All I ask is that you hit me up first when you want to see him.”
“I broke up with you because you dumb as fuck. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you just like my child would still be growing inside if you didn’t do something stupid.”
I clapped my hands as I got out of the shower, “There’s the nigga I was waiting on to appear. Every nigga got it in em’ and I thought you were different. Go ‘head let the rest of your feelings pour out nigga. Tell me what else is my goddamn fault,” I screamed.
“You better lower yo fuckin’ voice. You know goddamn well if you would’ve taken yo ass home instead of knocking on my baby mama door, then you would still be pregnant.”
“Nigga you said you didn’t blame me, though. See, that’s what the fuck I’m talking ‘bout. Give me my son so you can leave.”
He pushed me back, “Don’t touch me. I didn’t come here for you. I came here for him.”
“Why the fuck you in here then? I was minding my damn business you started fucking with me.”
“You right. I just wanted to know why you was so flaw. Should've known a muthafucka that fucked with Khi was just as flaw.”
The nigga had just gut punched me, and I couldn’t help but let the tears fall from my eyes. It was good to know this was how he felt about me. I didn’t know if he was speaking from his hurt or was it truth to it. If there was truth to it then why did he marry me? Why keep having sex with me and getting me pregnant.
“Look, I didn’t mean that shit like that. Let me put him to sleep so I can leave. We both saying some off the damaging shit.”
“Yeah, do that.”
He tried to wipe my tears, but I knocked his hand away. Lucky said everything he needed to say to me today to let me know this was the end for us. He walked out of the room, and I closed the door behind him. I stripped out of my clothes and started the shower. The only thing that could resonate in my mind was him blaming me for losing the baby. I knew it was my fault. That was my karma for going over there showing my ass without knowing what was going on.
Istuck between a rock and a hard place. My heart was in war with my mind. People may have thought I was crazy for loving Blessyn, but I couldn’t help how I felt. After tonight, I knew this was it for us. As I sat with my son on my chest and my head resting on the back of the sofa, this was going to be the last time I would be able to enjoy this moment. I said some hurtful shit to Blessyn, and I wasn’t expecting her to forgive me for it.
My phone started buzzing on the side of me. It was Perc letting me know that the set up was ready and he was waiting on me to give him the word. I just needed more time to clear my head. My son was the only peace I had in my life and just listening to him breath calmed my storm. I could hear Blessyn shuffling around on the other side of her door. I sent Perc a textand got up off the sofa and knocked on the bedroom door. She popped the door open with an attitude.
“I need to lay him down so I can go.”
“Give him here, I can do it.”
“Fuck, can I lay my son down and kiss him before I go?”
She stepped aside and let me in. Pulling the cover back, I laid him down softly and kissed his cheek. This could possibly be the last time I saw him. Depending on how this shit went down with my pops, I wasn’t sure if I would see either of them again. Blessyn stood on the other side of the bed staring at me.
“My bad about earlier. I’m a lil’ in my feelings. If shit worked out, I was going to ask you to be my wife again. It may be best we don’t do that shit, huh.”
“You made the decision so I’mma rock with it.”
“I don’t wanna let you go but we just not vibin’ right now.”
I was going to regret this shit, and I could feel it. It was something about her that I couldn’t let go of. Not only was she a damn good mother to my son but she had the capacity to love me like I wanted if she let her guard down. We didn’t start having issues until my secret came out. If it never came out, we would be happy. I didn’t blame her for hating me. I walked around to the other side of the bed.
“I know you hurt. I fucked up a lot of shit between us, but I never stopped loving you. Never did shit to hurt you, not intentionally. If this is the last time I get to be ‘round you, I wanna tell you I appreciate you carrying my children. I doubt another woman will be able to do that. I gotta a lot of shit going on. My baby mama trying to stop me from being in my son’s life. Now me and you beefing which is really taking a toll on me ‘cause you supposed to be my person to lean on.”
“Lucky, I don’t know what you want me to do. I softened up and it still wasn’t enough. Can we just be friends for our son? I don’t want to beef. Let’s just move on.”
I raised her chin so I could kiss her. It was the wrong move, but I had to. Blessyn made a nigga's heart skip a beat when our skin touched. I wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her in closer to me. I loved when she wore her short blonde hair out instead of a wig. It always brought out her beautiful face structure.
“Stop, Lucky.”
“Just one last time. I may not ever get this moment again. We argued but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
“I can’t. It’s only going to make things between us complicated, and I don’t want to do that. It’s just best you leave.”
“All I wanted was a lil’ trust. I don’t ask for much. I’mma get out of here though. Maybe we can link up and take him to the park or something.”
