“I just don’t want to mess up.”
“Mess what up?”
Any of it.
I settle for the one thing I can talk about. I point a finger between us. “This.”
She studies me for a moment, her eyes softening, and she lets out a breath. “You’re going to mess up, Noah.”
I smile at her blunt delivery. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, babe.”
“What I mean is, I don’t expect you not to mess up. We’re both going to get things wrong from time to time, but I’m never going to punish you for it. Andyoudon’t need to punish yourself for every little thing, either.” She taps her hand to my chest, and like I do every time, I hold her hand there.
“What happened to fool me twice and you’re dead to me?”
“Do you plan on hurting me, Noah Kingston?”
I look her in her eyes, and even beyond the sea of fear that I might not be enough for her, I know that I’ll die trying to be.
“Never.”
She nods her head once before untucking her legs. I wrap my arm around her, pulling her closer to me.
I attempt to lighten the mood, veering the conversation away from me. “I should be more afraid of you, honestly.”
An offended gasp falls from her mouth. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re like a damn bear, Savvy. I’m scared if I poke you the wrong way, you’re going to tear me open and leave my heart on the side of the road.”
Thankfully, she laughs before shoving her elbow into me.
“You don’t need to worry about that.”
“No?”
“No.” She tilts her head, looking up at me. “You’ve weaseled your way into my life. You’re in now.”
Her words settle over me in a way I hadn’t realized I desperately needed, and this time, when I cup her face between my hands, it’s not because either of us need a distraction. My thumbs brush over her cheeks as I tilt her head and kiss her. I kiss her for the overwhelming feelings I can’t describe and the words I can’t figure out how to say. It’s a thank you for understanding me when I feel like I don’t fully understand myself. It’s a promise to always be here for her in a way that others aren’t. But mostly, it’s a kiss that shares something I’ve only ever felt with her. Because somewhere between her heartbeats and mine, I’ve become completely aware of my love for her.
31
savannah
“Look what the cat dragged in.”
“You calling me a rat, Peter?”
“Is that what that means?” The only other person on campus that I might consider a friend looks at me, slightly horrified. “I definitely didn’t mean?—”
“I’m just joking.” I smile at him and he nods, his shoulders relaxing a bit. He’s always so high-strung, but I find something about it kind of endearing.
“What are you doing here? It’s your day off, no?”
“Sure is.” I strum my knuckles on the counter. “I’m meeting my aunt for a coffee break. Can I get my usual, and a sweet and spicy tea for her, please?”
“She doesn’t drink caffeine either?”
“Maybe it’s hereditary.”
