I don’t know where she’s going with this, or even why, but I can’t help but agree. “Yes, they can.”
“They’re either at practice or a game. They wind up on the road half the time. Then there’s the constant beating their bodies take, not to mention the injuriesthey endure.” She gestures at some nonexistent entity in front of her when she’s not fiddling with the knot in my laces.
I can’t help but wonder if she’s talking to me or herself. Maybe both?
“They’re driven. Sometimes reckless even. All for a chance at a trophy they hope to win at least once before they’re forced to retire because their bodies can’t keep up anymore.” Her magic fingers finally work the knot loose.
“Thanks.” I lower my leg from her lap and tug the skate off.
“But they’re like a big, messy family at the holidays. Lots of tension, but lots of love.”
“And your point?” I untie my other laces without her help and place it with the other skate. I’ve known Sophie long enough to know she always has one. She’s like a little pink bottle filled with a potion of wisdom and kindness.
“You and Payton are really great together.”
A snort accompanies my head shake. “I’m not so sure about that.”
She slides closer to me. “I do. I see it. And yeah, maybe you guys rushed things, but that just means it’s a bit messier in the beginning. Doesn’t mean the love isn’t there, and that’s worth fighting for.”
I hear what she’s saying, and if Payton and I had met under different circumstances, I might take her words to heart. But our relationship was never intended to be anything more than professional—a farce for his sake. Falling for each other wasn’t part of the plan.
Resting my arms on my knees, I stare at the rink where Payton’s teaching a young girl how to hold a miniature hockey stick. My heart clenches at the sight. He deserves to have that life—a wife, a kid or two. Or three, judging by how much he seems to enjoy the two other kids who skated over, asking for help, as well. A few feet away, Luke helps a little boy—withoutgrunting, I might add—keep his balance while swinging his stick at a puck.
“You and Luke seem to have figured things out.”
Her turn to snort. “Wasn’t easy, let me tell you. He tried to push me away several times.”
“Seriously?” I frown at her, thinking I might have been done after the first one, and definitely would have walked after the second.
That’s the difference between Sophie and me. She sees the potential goodness in everyone she meets. Me? I assess everyone I encounter based on what kind of threat they might pose—a skill I learned growing up and one I fine-tuned for my profession. Size a person up before they get close enough to do any harm.
“Yeah, but I knew it wasn’t about me.” Her voice softens, revealing that giant heart she seems to carry around with ease.
“Still, that had to hurt, right?”
“It did, but like I said, love is worth fighting for. Even when it’s messy.”
Her words bring a spark of hope back to that place in my heart where Payton lives, but feeding it fuel feels so risky. “What about when it seems impossible?”
She squeezes my hand. “That’s when you fight harder.”
I scan the ice again for Payton, mentally taking in any potential threats near him even though I know he’s not in danger anymore. He never really was.
Our gazes connect. He waves at me, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. Instead, they seem sad—like I feel. Maybe he’s having second thoughts about us. About me.
That could be a good thing, though. Doesn’t change the fact that I know what he told Del, but you can’t feel rejected when the person hasn’t even told you how they feel about you, right?
Chapter Twenty-Seven
PAYTON
It’s been two days since the fundraiser, and Lily and I have fallen back to our usual pattern of her driving me to practice, me preparing dinner, and her retreating to her room to do her reports, which I know now is her way of avoiding me.
No more flirting or kisses, and if anything, our conversations are minimal at best. Yet, she’s continued the ruse of acting as my bodyguard even though she knows there’s no longer a threat, which baffles me.
I thought about confessing that I know everything and suggesting we stop the pretense, but I suppose I’m still hopeful that we can make things work between us. Could that be why she hadn’t said anything yet? Is she hoping the same, or is she simply planning her exit strategy?
The latter leaves me gutted.
