I take her hand and pull her back onto the ice. “Have any other tidbits you care to share about your mysterious life?”
She hums as she thinks. “I once stole a car.”
“No doubt out of necessity, right?”
“Oh, totally. It was that, or my principal would’ve gotten shot.”
I’m so flabbergasted, I skate to the boards and wrap my arms around her. Just the thought of her in danger throws my pulse into a fit. “Please tell me you don’t do these kinds of things all the time.”
She tilts her head up to look at me. “Not often, but it’s part of the job, Payton. It’s what I do.”
I brush my nose against hers, pleased she doesn’t stop me since no one’s paying attention to us at this point. Somehow, we’ve wound up behind the Zamboni parked on the side for rides later. It’s the perfect cover, and I’m tempted to kiss her properly, but instead, I press my lips against her temple, inhaling her sweet scent. “What if you could choose to do something else? What would you do?”
She lifts one shoulder. “I don’t know. Never thought about it.”
I lean back so I can see her face. “What about the future? Do you ever think about settling down? Maybe getting married, having kids? You can’t very well be a mum and put yourself in danger like that?”
Her stricken expression slams me in the chest like an errant puck. I wish I could undo those last words, but it’s too late. She’s pulling away from me, and I’m the git who messed up our moment.
“We’d better go back to the group so we can keep up appearances.” Her tone is guarded and professional again.
Everything in me slumps. “Right.”
She skates away, leaving me to wonder if I’ve been a fool to think things could work between us. Maybe our worlds and what we want are too different after all.
Chapter Twenty-Six
LILY
I should have known better. How could I possibly think Payton and I could actually work out? As much as his third degree—and that’s what it felt like—hurt me, I’m thankful for it because it helped me see the truth. I could never fit into his world.
Be a wife? That I could probably figure out. But a mother? I hardly remember my own, and I certainly didn’t have any good role models growing up.
That stupid burn hits the back of my eyes as I fight a giant knot in the laces on my skate. I should just go home and forget about Payton. Forget about how his kiss made me dream about the possibility of a future with him. Forget about the way he’s brought my heart to life in a way I never thought possible. Forget that I’m in love with him.
“Need some help?” Sophie’s voice stills my hands.
When I look up, she studies my face with that concerned expression she gets when she knows someone is struggling. It’s like her superpower, an empathy radar. And it’s two bars strong, right between her eyebrows.
I drop my eyes, unwilling to share the pain I’m feeling. “I’m sure I can figure it out.”
Which I will. I always do. Maybe that’s my superpower, that I figure things out on the fly, right at the moment, whatever’s needed. Anytime I wound up in a position that didn’t work, I simply pivoted. Changed direction. Found a new opportunity.
But long term?
Nope. Haven’t a clue. I’ve never stayed in one place long enough. Even as a bodyguard, I never know where my next assignment might take me or for how long. So when you know you won’t be a permanent fixture, you don’t make plans. You don’t put down roots, either. And you certainly don’t get involved with anyone. Not romantically, anyway.
In one impressive movement, Sophie lifts my foot onto her lap as she settles on the bench and starts working at the knot I somehow made twice its original size. “Everything okay with you and Payton?”
The expected response lingers right on the tip of my tongue—what I’m supposed to say as Payton’s fake wife.
We’re fine. Just a little disagreement. No big deal.
But I can’t bring myself to utter those words because all these feelings I have for him have muddled my brain. Plus, I’m finding it nearly impossible to lie to this woman who’s rapidly becoming a good friend—something I don’t have many of.
However, there’s an upside to this moment—an opportunity. Might as well use it to set up my exit. I brush back a tendril of hair falling in my face. “I’m not sure things are working out, to be honest. We may have rushed into this too fast.”
Blinking, she nods thoughtfully. “You know, hockey players can be a real pain in the butt sometimes.”
