“You’ll be an amazing mom,” he finally says.
“Yeah?”
“You’ll be so patient with them and so loving and supportive, like you are with me.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head as warmth fills my chest at his words.
“And you’ll be a great dad,” I say.
“I’m not so sure about that.”
I twist in his arms so I can look at him. “Why do you say that?”
“I didn’t have the best role model, did I? What do I know about being a good dad?”
My heart aches for him. I fully turn to face him, and I grip his hands in mine.
“That has nothing to do with how good of a dad you’ll be. First of all, your father taught you all the things to not do or say to your kids. Second, I’ve seen how you interact with your sisters, which tells me most of what I need to know. And finally, I know how you treat me and care for me, and if you put even half as much effort into being a good parent, you’ll be knocking it out of the park with your future kids.” I almost said, “our future kids,” but I caught myself in time.
He gives me a shaky smile. “That may all be true, but I’m terrified I’ll mess them up.”
“Oh, baby,” I shift closer and wrap my arms around him, “you won’t mess them up. You won’t always know what to do. Nobody does. But you’ll love them with all your heart, and I have no doubt you’ll do everything you can to raise your children up to be good, kind people. Don’t you ever believe you won’t be a good dad. Don’t let your father or anyone or anything else make you believe such an absurd thing.” I lean back so I can look him in the eye. “Promise me.”
“Why are you so good to me?” he asks.
“Promise me.”
“I promise.”
I nod. “And I’m good to you because I care about you—so much.”
I wish I could tell him I love him, but I’m scared to death to fully admit it to him. I rarely think about him kissing Tammy anymore, but a tiny part of me is still terrified of being hurt again. I realize I’m being contradictory after what I said to him, but I can’t quite believe a relationship is actually going to work out for me, though I want to believe it so badly.
Randall cups my face in his hands and gives me the sweetest, softest kiss. He doesn’t draw it out, likely because we’re in public, but after his mouth pulls away from mine, he turns me around and tucks me back against him. He now holds me tightly, possessively, and I’m feeling more cherished than I ever dreamed I could.
“Do you have a church picked out for tomorrow?” he asks.
“The place Leslie and Ash go to isn’t too far away from our apartments. It’s close enough to walk there.”
Randall’s body tenses in shock. “Ash goes to church?”
“He’s been going with Leslie.”
“How did I not know that?”
“You’re apparently not very observant on Sunday mornings. Plus, your brother is a man of many mysteries.”
“You’re not wrong there.”
“Leslie says it’s a causal type of place. You don’t need to wear a suit or anything. Just khakis and a Polo.”
“That could be one reason I didn’t know my brother became a churchgoer,” he muses. “If he walked out of the apartment in a suit on a Sunday, I think I’d notice.”
“Tell yourself whatever makes you feel better about your lack of knowledge of your brother’s comings and goings,” I tease.
“Speaking of comings and goings, how are you feeling about going to meet Andrea next weekend?”
“Good. I’m excited to meet her and Emily.”
“She decided for sure that you’ll meet Emily?”
