Page 101 of So Much More
“Church,” I say.
“Church?”
“Drop those eyebrows back down,” I say.
“How did you know they were up?”
“From the tone of your voice.”
His arms tighten around me. “I love that you know that.”
I smile and twist slightly so I can look at him. “Me, too.” I give him a quick peck on the cheek before facing the lake again.
“What about church?” he asks.
“I want to go tomorrow.”
“Do you usually go to church? Is this something I’ve completely failed to learn about you?”
I shake my head. “No. I went as a kid, and I go when I’m visiting my family, but I’ve never gone here.”
“But you want to go now?”
“Uh-huh. With you, if you’re willing.”
“Why? I mean, why the sudden urge to go to church, not why go with me. And of course I’ll go with you.”
“I miss it.”
My hair blows up with a gust of wind, and Randall gathers it in his hands and tucks it down the back of my shirt.
“What do you miss about it?”
“The routine, the tradition, the feelings I get when I’m there.”
“What kinds of feelings?”
“Peace, mostly.”
“I know what you mean. I miss those same things.”
“I also want to raise my kids in church,” I add, hoping the statement won’t make him run for the hills. I’ve not felt comfortable talking to him about children yet, but we need to.
He’s silent for a moment before asking carefully, “You want kids?”
I nod. “I want three.”
“Me, too,” he whispers.
I breathe a silent sigh of relief. “I don’t want to get pregnant tomorrow or anything,” I add, “but I also don’t want to wait long to have kids once I’m married. I’ll be thirty-one in a few weeks. I don’t have all the time in the world.”
When he doesn’t say anything, my heart inches up into my throat, but then I realize he probably doesn’t know what’s appropriate to say, since we haven’t talked about a hypothetical marriage either.
I ask him, “Would you want to wait long to have kids after you get married?”
“I’d be okay with it either way,” he says. “Sooner or later, doesn’t matter.”
We’re both quiet for a while, and he rests his chin on my head as we watch the waves roll in.
