Page 56 of Generation Omega: Revealed
I give him a grateful nod and watch him leave. The loss of his presence hits me instantly, but I hold my ground because right now is about Ethan and me. The omegaverse can take a freaking break.
“Ethan…”
“I’m here.”
“I wish I could see you.”
He grunts. “I’m calling from an old flip phone with no camera, so that’s not going to work.”
I grip the cover, rubbing the soft fabric like it’s a worry stone. “What happened?”
“I don’t know.” His words carry no emotion, this detachment unfamiliar and unsettling. “I just woke up and there was a note for me to call you. It’s all fuzzy. I mean, I remember the alley and fighting, and that shithead dosing me with something. And then the guy stepping out from the darkness. I guess he saved me. But why? How? Wasn’t the poison supposed to be deadly to betas?” His breath catches. “Till, I’m abetaand you’re anomega—what happened to us? Yesterday, we wereusand now we’re notusanymore. We’re something else.”
A fist holds my heart. “We’re stillus.”
“But we’re not. The world isn’t what we thought it was, and I don’t know what I’m doing here in this creepy basement.” I can almost feel him wince. “I’m sorry… you don’t need me having a breakdown right now.”
“I need you—you’re all I need. That hasn’t changed.”
“You have Gideon Blake now.” He’s not accusing, but his disillusioned tone is startling.
“He’s lovely and wonderful and the best introduction to this new life that I could have had, but he’s not you. He can’t ever be you. You and me—we’re forever.”
Ethan swallows like his throat is a desert. “I think we both know that’s not true.”
“What are you saying? You want to leave now?” Tears again… so many tears. “You should. You’ll be safe far away from me. I tried to get you to go. I should have tried harder. They shot you. They tried to kill you. I would have lost you if not for…”
“If not forwhat? Why did he save me?”
“We think… I mean, Gideon said…” I have never been more afraid to say something to Ethan. “We think the killer is my new alpha. I don’t know if that’s true. I don’t feel him. I have another alpha who is close, but I don’t feel compelled to find him right now. Actually, my body feels rooted here, like I’m supposed to stay right where I am. I have all these instincts pushing me to embrace my omega side.”
“You should do that. You should forget about me.”
“What?! No.” My words scatter and it takes a few seconds to herd them together again. “Ifyouwant to go, I get that. This isn’t what you signed on for, but don’t you dare leave because you think I don’t want you. I want you. Tillie me, omega me—allof me wants you. It’s not aneither/orfor me, but it might be that way for you.”
The silence between us is a festering, awful thing that lasts longer than I think I can handle. I feel like we’re back in that courtroom with the tutu-wearing bears passing judgment, where everything I want will be decided by someone else. But this has to be his choice, because my choices aren’t really mine anymore.
His voice is ragged when he says, “I’m never leaving you, Tillie.Never. I just… I’m not myself right now. I don’t know where I am and I’m giving athumbs downto getting shot twice. I’m so drained I can barely move. And I don’t get it. Why wouldyournew alpha save me?”
My mind draws a blank. I didn’t touch Kazimir and our hearts are barely connected. I feel no pull to reach him. And yet, he saved the love of my life. “Maybe you can ask him.”
“There’s no one here, but the killer left a note.”
“What does it say?”
He chuckles and then groans from the pain it causes. “Threats mostly—I am not supposed to even try to leave. If that’s his big worry, he really doesn’t know how terrible I feel.” Ethan’s quiet again and when he returns to me, he’s forcing himself to be what I need. “Well, your killer alpha has excellent penmanship and an abundance of gauze, because I’m allgauzedup, more mummy than man.”
“Penmanship and mummies…hot,” I say blandly, playing along because that’s all I can do.
“Tell me about Gideon. Tell me how you are and about your omega instincts. What’s real and what’s fiction about the omegaverse? Tell me everything that’s happening outside this claustrophobic basement.”
It’s challenging finding things to share that don’t involve me being naked with Gideon—in the shower, in bed, in the car—but I babble for a little while.
Unsurprisingly, even wounded and exhausted, Ethan misses nothing. “You aren’t holding back because of me, are you?” When I don’t respond, he continues. “You have to embrace youromega-ness, whatever that means. Your survival depends on it, and if you hold back because you think you’re betraying me… youcan’t. Whatever we are, whatever we have—now or in the future—it’s going to be different than what we thought. You are the omega, and I’m the beta who loves you. That’s who we are now.”
He exhales and I brace for impact. “It was close last night. Death was close and I had not one regret for myself, even if my life ended in that alley. My only regret was what my death would do to you. That’s it. My life flashed before my eyes and it was all about you and what you brought to my life, what being your best friend means to me. Dying to save you—no regrets. And if I’d died, my dad would have been waiting for me, so if anything does happen to me, remember that. I’m not alone.”
Sobbing now, I plead, “No, I can’t lose you. Please, don’t even say that.”
