Page 29 of Generation Omega: Revealed
“It’s okay. I understand that it’s confusing. I just can’t get into it right now, beyond saying that I would be totally onTeam Omegaif a different omega had been chosen. Kypsie would have been a great omega. Dozens of others—hundreds even—would have been better than me.” I shudder and he feels it.
He pulls me against him and I’m grateful for his leather jacket.
“It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay,” he croons. “I’m sorry. Your entire life has changed and I’m badgering you to have a party about it. I guess I’m still in love with the idea that magic could be real.”
I exhale and wish we could stay like this, but my heart demands that we keep moving. So, I pull away and we start walking again, not saying anything, but the words I need to say are lining up like tennis balls in an automatic launcher.
When we reach the covered bus stop, I gently pull him toward it. “Let’s sit here and wait for the bus.”
We sit in silence until night claims the city and for a few minutes longer before I’m finally ready.
In measured words, without any emotion, I make my case. “I think you should get your stuff from Auntie Jem’s and fly home. I think you should let me get on the bus and go find my alpha. Away from me, you aren’t in any danger. With me, there’s a target on you, people out there somewhere trying to kill you. It only makes it worse that we have no idea whether I’ll ever be able to touch you without burning you.”
I swallow roughly, my control fraying. “We don’t know what’s true and what isn’t, which means we don’t know how much power my alphas will have or whether they’ll let us be together. Alpha barks—they could be real. Could they make me forget you? Do they have that power?”
My lip quivers and I put it on notice before continuing. “For you to risk everything for a girl who has no control over her life anymore… it’s wrong. For you to risk yourself when you’re an only child with a mother who’s already lost more than anyone should—it’s wrong.” I stare at the ground as though it’s the only visible thing in the world. “I’m glad we were together. I will never regret that, but you deserve more than what I can give and to give you less… that’s not fair to either of us.”
Ethan says nothing. He does nothing. He just sits beside me while I hold his hand. I think he’s daring me to look at him and speak these words to his face, but maybe, he’s already figuring out how to get back to Auntie Jem’s and wondering how much it will cost to change his flight.
“There’s no place in my life for you.” I throw that out and can almost feel the lie sizzling when it meets the air. “I’m not saying I’m damaged goods here, but if my girly parts cause first-degree burns, that’s not the sign of a healthy relationship.”
He attempts to smother a laugh—a laugh—but fails horribly. I gawk at him and his broad smile and sparkling eyes.
“Are you even listening to me?”
“I am.” Chuckling, he stammers, “Yes,check, dangerous romance with your piping hot girly parts… most effective chastity belt ever. Got it.”
“This is serious. I need to set you free to go live your best,normallife.”
Ethan murmurs something under his breath about normal lives, while staring into the distance. I’m not sure whether he’s silent because he’s taking this seriously or because he’s trying not to laugh again.
Unfairly, I’m sure, I plead, “Please, talk to me.”
But the bus is now rumbling toward us and a decision must be made. Ethan makes it, grabbing the bag and slinging it over his shoulder, and then reclaiming my hand. He leads the way toward the open doors, pays with cash, and then guides me toward the open seats in the back, away from anyone else.
Once we’re seated, I force myself to wait until he’s ready this time.
He turns in his seat, facing me, holding my gaze with the power of who he is. “I know you don’t want to discuss your feelings about the omegaverse, and you are entitled to feel whatever you need to feel about anything and everything. But for me to explain why yoursuggestionthat I walk away from you is ridiculous, I need to share how I feel about the omegaverse.”
I nod for him to continue.
“The fact that you were chosen is proof that the omega legacy knows what it’s doing.”
“But…” I get the eyebrow of doom and shut my mouth. It’s his turn.
“Later, I hope you’ll share why you were obsessed with all of this, but didn’t actually want it for yourself. And also, why you don’t think it should have chosen you. But, to me, there is power in this legacy, even if that power is empathy, and it’s pretty universally acknowledged that the best person to have power is the one who won’t misuse it. That’s you. You already have empathy. You already care. You won’t compromise that, no matter what.”
“But that doesn’t mean you should risk your life for me.”
Hepfftsat me. “Well, actually, it does. Because if I believe—which I do—that you were chosen for a reason, then how can I not believe that our love is part of why you were chosen? You and I have been everything to each other most of our lives. Our love for each other is who we are, and I don’t believe that has to end just because things have changed.”
“But I’m burning you.”
“I know, and I’m not in denial here. I get that we may never be together again, and I don’t know how I’ll deal with that. But we don’t know enough to worry about that right now. What I do know is the second the professor said people were hunting you and wanted to kill orsuppressyou—a lot of things in my life suddenly made sense.”
He rubs my arm over my sweatshirt. “Till, think about my life. I know how to fight and I love it more than I’ve ever shared, the violence in particular. I also know how to love you the way you deserve to be loved, even if it took me a long time to finally allow myself to love you like that. I will never betray you. I’m more than willing to kill for you. And I know we’re walking directly into a trap and I won’t ask you not to, because I know this is what you need.” He shares a sweet smile. “So tell me again that I should leave you when you need me most.”
“I don’t want you to die.”
