Page 28 of Generation Omega: Revealed
“I’m making decisions without understanding why and I feel really guided.” I glance up at him from beneath my hood. “Kypsie is a good example. We needed her to get out of there and that took trust. At the time, I thought logic and desperation made that decision, but now, I think it was instinct. It was also instinct that made me want to get her away from us as quickly as possible.”
“Because she would be at risk?”
“Yes.” Once we reach the sidewalk, I aim us to the left, the direction that leads to my alpha. “It’s not time for her to be in danger. I have this huge sense that she’s important in some way. I can’t explain it, but I felt this shove inside me to get her away from us, and now that she’s gone, all that push has become this solid sense ofapproval.”
I nibble on my lip as we continue along the sidewalk, while the busy street creates a welcome background noise. “I’m truly just at the beginning of this. I thought it would be awhooshand, suddenly, I’m an omega, but it’s not like that. It’s a slow awakening.”
I shake my head, annoyed with my lack of creativity in explaining what I barely understand. “I know the garden metaphor is a little much, but it’s true. I’m this tiny sprout, just peeking through the soil at this big world that’s entirely new. An omega revealing isn’t the passionate flower blooming. It’s this, just breaking through the surface and trying to survive the elements.”
“You’llsurvive the elements,” he growls. “Because in your garden, you just happen to have a weed whacker—that’s me. Anything that comes at you is going to get whacked, and I really do mean that.”
I don’t look at him, but my uneasiness has him glaring down at me. “I don’t want you to be in danger, Ethan.” Oh, courage, where are you? Because I’m talking to the sidewalk instead of the man beside me.
“I don’t want you to be in danger either.” His voice is impassive in a deliberate way, as though he’s ending a conversation before it begins. I really wish I could let that be the end of it, but I don’t mind when he changes the subject. “Tell me what you feel about your alpha.”
“I know roughly where he is and that he’s not moving. I feel his heartbeat. He might be drugged, but I’m not sure. He’s not being harmed—I know that.” I pause to consider what’s new in my constantly changing heart compass. “I now feel two pulls inside me, in opposite directions, and instead of making things worse, it’s actually helping to balance me.”
He leans to see my face under the hoodie. “Two pulls? Two alphas?”
“I think so. It’s kind of blowing my mind, the idea that I don’t know who my alphas are. I mean, I have a theory about one, but that’s because I only touched one man other than you.”
Ethan stops moving, his eyes huge and a bit wild. “Gideon Blake?”
I want to smack myself because my answer to his intensely asked question is a girlish giggle. And why? Because that’s my default response to anything involving Gideon Blake. I cover my mouth to halt the flow of goofiness at what should be a serious moment, and Ethan’s eyes only get wider. He’s basically a cartoon at this point.
“Gideon Blake is youralpha?”
“Wait…no—I don’t know that. We don’t know how any of this works, not really. We’ve got theories and all that stuff the professor said, but we don’t know anything until it’s proven. The scientific method at work, right?”
He’s squinting like a detective at a crime scene. “But you did touch him and then began to reveal right after.”
“Yes, I did, but think about it. If I have another alpha who I didn’t touch—which my heart is telling me that I do,somehow—then maybe touch isn’t what starts the process. And if itisn’ttouch, then my alpha could be the guy who made my knotty fries andnotGideon Blake. Or it could be a hotel employee or anyone really.”
Ethan’s still giddy in a ruggedly sexy way, and it’s like all my words didn’t pierce the bubble of his boyish hope. “But itcouldbe Gideon Blake.”
I should probably run through that whole uncertainty thing again, but instead, I just nod. “Would that make it easier for you?”
“Yes,” he blurts. “Think about it. You could imagine him in your nest. Youwanthim in your nest. That would be a lot easier than some random stranger, but it’s more than that. It’s the logic in it. He has money, fame, power, the respect of millions—he’s beloved. He’s never gotten caught doing any shady shit, and he’s been around long enough that if he were a bad guy, we’d know.”
Ethan’s logic and excitement are a little too contagious. “We don’t know how the omega line picks its alphas, but for today’s world, the guy who knows about the omegaverse, was clearly open to it, who happens to have power and money to protect you and your pack—that’s a good choice.” He tilts his head, looking sassily pleased. “And he was definitely into you in abigway, so it’s not like this doesn’t make sense.”
I tug him to keep us slowly moving toward my mysterious alpha. “I’m not arguing with any of that, and there’s part of me that’s dancing up and down about the possibility that it’s him, for all those reasons. But the thing about being an omega, in pretty much all the fiction out there, is that a scent match is a scent match. It could be him, but it could also be someone else. I don’t actually have a choice and that’s the struggle, more than I ever thought it would be.”
I hold the small part of my best friend that I’m currently allowed to touch and stare at the mitt for a long moment. Then I meet his intense gaze. “I love you and now I don’t get to have you and only you. If it’s him, that will be easier, but I could get there and discover that my alpha is a complete stranger who will control the rest of my life. That’s a lot to have riding on one meeting. I feel like I’m heading to an execution that’s also an arranged marriage. It’s a lot.”
“Yes, it is. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” My face heats and completely betrays me. “I hope it’s him and, more than that, I hope he’s kind. I hope he’s like you.”
Ethan’s expression softens. “He’ll be made for you, right? He’s supposed to take care of you. That’s the legend.”
Ugh, confession time strikes again. “The thing is… I’m struggling to believe all the legends, to believe anything right now.”
My dear Ethan is completely flummoxed. “Why? Till, please, I want to understand and Idon’t. You wanted this to be true and it is. I’ve always thought it would be cool if I could fly, like a superhero, and if I suddenly could, I’d be taking you to Maui. I wouldn’t be…”
“Whining?” I volunteer.
“No, that’s not it… I don’t mean that at all.”
