“Oh yeah, I wish I could say I never tripped over my own feet, but it’d be a lie.”
My mouth went dry as my eyeballs landed on her. She’d traded her glue-covered leggings for a soft pink scoop-shirt highlighting her breasts. Absolutely perfect breasts. Somebody take me out now. They were pushed up, and I felt a pull as the vision of holding her and exploring was the only thing flying through my cranium at 100 miles an hour.
There was a squeeze in my chest at the jeans that hugged her curves and took my mind to all sorts of bad places it shouldn’t go. To top it off, she wore brown boots that were a little bikerish and smoking hot.
Her black hair had some loose curls that made me put my hands in my pocket to resist the urge to feel them between my fingers. Her blue eyes smiled as she walked down the last few stairs and stood next to me.
I cleared my throat. “Janice, this is Fern. She’s the Maid of Honor in the wedding party.”
“Hi.” Her eyes went wide. “Wait, are you two a thing?”
“Uh—” Fern wrinkled her nose.
“Oh, thank God.” She giggled and eyed Fern. “We went out on a date in August, he met my family, and I’ve been trying to reach him for months.” She whispered, “Somehow I got his number wrong so I’ve been trying to connect with him for so long.”
Fern looked at me while I’m certain my face was begging her to help me get out of my Janice situation.
Maybe it was wrong, but she was my way out so I threw my arm over her shoulder. “I guess it’s been a while since we saw each other. But this is my, um, girlfriend, Fern.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Fern’s head whip in my direction.
Janice’s mouth dropped open. “Really?”
Gulp. “I wanted to call and tell you, but like you said, somehow I didn’t get your correct number either.”
“I see.” She mustered up a smile. “Well, I’m happy for you both. I suppose I’d better be going.”
I stepped forward and gave her a hug. “You take care of yourself.” As I pulled away, she grabbed my face between her hands and planted her lips on mine for a few seconds before I gently pulled away.
Janice grinned. “You have amazing lips.” She looked at Fern. “You’re a lucky, lucky lady.” With that she turned, walked off the porch, and out of my life forever. I quickly shut the door.
“Sorry about that. If you couldn’t tell, she’s a little?—”
Fern grabbed my face and pressed her lips to mine. Before I could even react, she pulled away and nodded. “Yeah, they’re okay.”
I was blind-sided as I followed her into the kitchen. “Wait, did you just kiss me?”
She waved her hand in the air. “I just wanted to see what the fuss was about.”
“That’s not fair. I didn’t expect it. I’m a great kisser.” My body’s reaction to that split-second kiss was excruciating, I was suddenly willing to chew glass to taste her.
She laughed. “You ready to go eat dinner?”
I felt cheated out of a kiss with the beautiful Fern. “I’m an amazing kisser. Maybe even legendary.”
“Whatever. Sometimes I just don’t think things all the way through. Not the best idea.” She shrugged. “My bad.” She grabbed her purse from the counter. “Are you driving, or am I?”
“No, it’s not whatever.” My mind was still at the front door, reliving the insta-kiss I was screwed out of. But I now knew her hair smelled like coconuts, and her lips tasted like cherry Chap Stick, just like Katie Perry sang about.
She waved her hand in front of my face. “Hello? My tummy is screaming. Are you ready?”
“Sure, I’ll drive.”
We walked into The Cheeky Monkey Bar and Grill where the aroma of onion rings hit me hard. We grabbed a table as Mary Helen moseyed over. Shit, I could not catch a break.
“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.”
“Hey, Mary Helen. How are you?”
She tilted her head. “Good. Speaking of good, you’ve been on fire this season.” She looked at Fern and then back to me.
