“Thanks. This is Fern. She was dying for some good grub.”
Mary Helen nodded. “Can I get you some menus?”
Fern shook her head. “Not for me. I’ll take the biggest, baddest, cheeseburger you’ve got, onion rings, and a Miller Lite.”
“Got it. Now for the biggest burger, we have the Big Monkey. It’s a mega burger that consists of six burger patties, twelve pieces of bacon, six slices of cheese, and six fried eggs between a bun. If you eat it in forty-five minutes, it’s on the house, and you get your picture on the wall of fame.”
“Whoa.” Fern’s eyes lit up as her mouth made an O. “So it’s like a contest?”
“Yup.” She pointed to me. “I’d even let you two share it.”
Fern slammed her hand on the table. “Hot damn! Yes, we’re in!
Mary Helen nodded. “I’ll be back with your order shortly.” She put a napkin next to my hand and leaned in. “So I guess the back rub you owe me is off the table, huh?” She winked, and I wanted the floor below me to drop.
Fern’s head cocked to the side as her eyes playfully narrowed. “Interesting. How many ladies around this town do you owe things to?” She grinned. “But enough about the waitress. We are totally going to win this.” She clapped her hands together. “And be on the wall!”
I chuckled at the girl who was a little cocky. “Even if we share, you’ll never finish your half.”
Her laugh was evil. “Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t lose. Ever.”
My head shook. “Well, I’d hate to bring up the whole losing guy-dar thing, but?—”
Gasp. “You have hurt me today, Gabe.” She folded her arms over her perfect chest. “Hey, since we’re waiting for our Big Monkey, how about a game of pool. Twenty bucks?”
I stood up. “Hell, I’ll take that bet. I can beat anyone except?—”
She batted her eyes at me. “Except Dave Novotny, right?” She stood and strutted toward the pool table. “Who do you think got my brother so good at playing pool and taking your money?”
She answered that question by smoking me the first game, but I squeaked out a win in the second before we finished our mega-burger. Man, she could put it away.
Her elbows rested on the table as she pointed at me. “Just for the record, I let you win that second game.”
“Is that right now?” I leaned in. She had a perfect nose, and that close I could see it was sprinkled with little freckles that were almost invisible.
Her eyebrows popped up. “Yes, I was worried if I beat your booty, you might fling yourself right out the damn window.”
“Whatever,” I should’ve sat back in my chair but stayed close. “You seem pretty okay after chowing down on all that beef.”
She wore a cocky grin. “I’m a girl who can handle the beef.” She tried to keep a straight face, but it was a no-go. “That was cringy.”
“Nope. I like a gal who can handle her beef.”
‘Totally cringy.” She finished her beer, and I realized I hadn’t had this much fun talking to anyone in as long as I can remember. The beautiful, kind of tomboy woman in front of me was a unicorn.
The bar had filled up, and a tall woman dressed in skintight jeans and a plaid shirt let out a yell into a microphone. “Glad everyone is here. I’m Abby Mack, owner of this fine establishment, and tonight our DJ, Bob Cope, will be pumping the tunes.” The room cheered. “But first, it’s challenge time. I’ve got some hula hoops here on the dance floor. If you think you can hula while drinking a beer or two, come on down. The last one standing wins fifty dollars!”
Fern jumped up. “Let’s do this!”
“What? I can’t hula hoop.” Her enthusiasm grabbed me.
I stood, and she stepped close as if sharing a secret that could save mankind and whispered, “I can. Do you know how amazing it would be to get a free meal, free beer, and fifty bucks? We’d be like the champions of the whole bar.”
“I must say, I’m a little worried about all that burger you ate and hula hooping. Sounds like a tummy ache brewing.”
She threw her arms in the air. “I’ve got this.” She turned and, if I was seeing things right, shook her ass a little while heading toward the dance floor. She glanced over her shoulder at me. “I would’ve thought a big old hockey player would want to win instead of being a puss.”
She was a magnet so of course I walked up behind her. “I’m not a puss.”
