Page 3 of Outside the Lines
"I'm not either," Socks told me as they looked up at me. If the words were supposed to surprise me, they didn't. I hadn't been at Trinity House long, but I'd been told a lot more shocking things than that. I didn't understand how someone didn't have a gender, but I didn't question it either. I walked to the last bedroom and pushed the door open a little. "You'll fit in here."
I knocked before walking in first, ready to introduce Socks to their new roommates if they chose to stay. "Socks, this is Abbie, Seth, and Chris. Kids, this is Socks. They're brand new. Be nice." I didn't have to tell these three to be nice to anyone, but I liked making Abbie, the smallest kid in the house, smile by pretending to be stern once in a while. She laughed and kept trying out make up.
"It's easier if you shave first," Socks said, coming up beside her on the bed. Abbie glanced up and blushed.
"Socks, find a free bunk, get cleaned up and come down to dinner when you're ready. We'll make sure there's some left. The rest of you," I made sure my voice carried to the other two bedrooms," start heading down for dinner. Hands washed and sitting at the table in five."
Abbie laughed at me again and I headed downstairs along with the first of the kids. They chatted excitedly, some asking about the new kid, others singing a song that I guessed had been on the radio. I helped steady a kid that nearly fell while trying to read a book and go down the stairs at the same time before joining Kim in the kitchen.
"Socks will be down soon I hope," I said as I stirred the meat.
She gave me a narrowed eyed look, and I was instantly defensive. "Hey, I didn't choose their name."
Kim's expression softened. "Where did you find them?" she whispered to me. We didn't usually talk about the kids in front of the others and so we had to keep our voices down.
"By a dumpster a few blocks over. What do you think their story is?" I replied.
She shrugged and moved away to start getting things to the counter. There were a few tables, and once the first wave of food was down, the kids started coming up to make their tacos in a semi-organized line. I kept cooking the meat for the next wave. Feeding twelve kids took a lot of food, and I'd be at this for a little while yet.
Coming in at dinner time, I usually didn't eat with the kids like Kim did. She was off at ten then usually someone came in to stay with me. Sometimes not. Tonight was one of the nights when I was alone until five in the morning. I didn't mind it. I actually preferred it. Especially on nights like tonight when I had a pile of homework and studying to do before a midterm. I wasn't looking forward to it, but the quiet was nice and the TV in the other room worked. Plus there was a pile of books to read in the little library. There was even a whole new box that had just been brought in yesterday, but I could see that the kids hadn't gotten around to putting the books on the shelf like they were supposed to have done. I'd take care of it after they went to bed. I didn't mind doing a chore that was supposed to be for them since it kept me busy until my relief came in the morning.
Trinity House got visitors at night too, but they didn't stay long, just kids dropping by long enough to grab some food or get warm for a bit. We were full tonight, but there was another youth homeless shelter a few miles away that was bigger and had more than one person working at night. I knew to call them if someone came in wanting to stay for more than a few hours and they'd send someone to pick the kid up. They weren't GBLT specific, but that didn't matter. The guy that worked nights there was a friend from college and he had told me to call him anytime I had a kid that needed help.
Dinner was almost over by the time Socks came downstairs, and as soon as people noticed them the talking stopped. New people weren't all that odd. A person that the kids couldn't tell if they were male or female apparently was, though. Socks came over and grabbed the last plate left on the counter and started making up a few tacos from what was left while I continued cleaning up the frying pan.
"Do you have enough there?" I asked Socks. I'd tried to make enough for everyone, but sometimes the last of the kids were left with slim pickings.
Socks nodded without looking up at me. I watched Socks as they went to the table where the other people in the room sat, unsure of what I was doing or even why. They were all just kids, all tragic and hurting in their own ways, but maybe it was because Socks had been my first intake that the thin kid caught and held my attention even after I'd clearly lost theirs. They didn't talk much at all, barely more than a few words here and there when directly spoken to, but it wasn't anything more than if that was their real hair color, which it was, or if they'd always lived in the city, which they hadn't.
I saw curiosity mix with frustration on the part of the people Socks would be bunking with, a familiar feeling. Socks was a mystery, and I hated trying to solve them. I read romances, not crime novels; I liked everything laid out for me from the start. But working here and being around these kids was giving me a pretty fair idea that I was sorely lacking in the world experience department. I figured that I'd be fixing that really fast if I was allowed to stay on here. It wasn't long after Socks sat down with their dinner than the first of the plates started coming back to me. I received some quiet compliments on my cooking skills but really there wasn't much to it at all. The sad part was that I think these kids were just happy to have food, never mind if it was good or not.
There was a cook book in the library that no one really touched, and I decided that I'd go through it tonight. I'd memorized their food allergies already and figured something could be done for them that wasn't pasta and sauce. I only worked three nights a week because of the twelve hour shifts, but I wanted to use that time to help give these kids something brighter, not just something.
Kim took over the dishes for me as I followed some of the kids into the TV room. It was more of an all-purpose room with a few board games, a radio, two couches and a bunch of pillows so that kids that didn't get there in time could still have something soft to sit on. I found myself playing a card game with a few of the kids when Kim and Socks came in.
Socks found a seat in a corner and watched everyone. I tried not to let the fear and uncertainty in their eyes bother me as I played cards with the kids until it was time for them to get ready for bed.
They all went to bed fairly easily. Having only two bathrooms in the house made things complicated, but people started getting ready a good hour before lights out to prepare for it. Someone had taught them that, and my money was on Kim as she said goodnight to the last of them and I followed behind her to do bed checks to make sure everyone was still where they were supposed to be. I'd be doing checks like that every half hour throughout the night, but if anyone did get up to do anything, I could easily hear them on the old wooden floor above me.
It was two am before I heard anyone get up, and I waited to hear if they were going to the bathroom. I hoped they weren't sneaking into another room. I hadn't had to tell anyone to cut that off yet, and I wasn't looking forward to that experience by a long shot. Surprisingly, though, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and looked up, wondering if the kid wanted a glass of water or something. I wasn't eager to be rid of whoever it was, but I'd heard how cranky the kids were during the day when they didn't get enough sleep from the people that came in after me.
It was Socks though who sat down across from me at one of the dining room tables and laid their head down on their arms. No words, not even really looking at me, but they were nearby. I waited for Socks to say something to me, anything at all, for a good five minutes, before I went back to the book in front of me.
A few minutes later and wanting something to do, I made hot chocolate for us both. I brought it from home since I liked the drink so much, and though I was sure there was some here anyway, I wasn't supposed to have the food that the kids did because it was for them. I agreed with that rule, and so I kept a few pouches of my favorite mix in the backpack that I took everywhere with me. A minute later and the beep of the microwave, I had two cups of hot chocolate on the table.
"Here," I said, pushing the mug toward them.
Socks turned their head and looked up at me, blinking at the mug in front of them before taking it as if they didn't know quite what it was at first. "Thanks," they mumbled, sounding sleepy.
"Sure," I said, nodding as I blew across the surface of my own. "Couldn't sleep?" I asked after I'd managed to take a small sip.
Socks shook their head, though they did look exhausted.
"Anything wrong in your room or with your bunkmates?"
Socks gave me a little smile. "I like them. They're quiet. That's the problem." It was more than I'd heard Socks say until then, and I smiled at them, hoping to help them relax a bit.
"Anything I can do to help?" I asked, not really understanding the problem. I liked quiet when I slept.
