Page 33 of Untamed
“Fine. Give me three.”
With stares from bystanders, whistles and degrading comments whispered under their breaths, I order the same. We stand in line, waiting for our tacos. Around us, college boys watch and try to get our attention. Ellensburg on a Friday night is teeming with college kids, most of whom are looking for a good time. They don’t care whether you’re in high school or college, whatever. If there’s grass on the field, you’re fair game.
Maybe it’s the thought of my age, but that’s when it really hits me how much Grayer’s getting to me. My heart aches, lives, lies with someone I just met. I lay my head on Haylee’s shoulder. “Dude, he rolls into town and bam, swoon me. Now I can’t stop thinking about him. Who the hell am I?”
“I know the feeling.” She’s been here before . . . with Tucker. It’s tough to tell yourself you don’t want something when you know deep down, you’re out of control with want and scared to give your heart because it’s all you have. Laughing lightly, Haylee pulls out another cigarette. She doesn’t light it. “This doesn’t change anything, does it?”
I force a smile, more for her benefit. “What? No. We’re still leaving the day I turn eighteen. I promise.” I gesture up the street to the Ellensburg Pasta Company where her mom works. “What’s your mom gonna say about you leaving town?”
Haylee sighs, soul-tethered, heart-tugging. “She’ll be fine. She’s got college boys drooling over her now.”
“Were her and your dad happy?”
She doesn’t say anything. Not at first. You know that look people get when they’re remembering the beautiful parts of their life? The moments that made them truly happy? That’s the look Haylee has. She gets it whenever she talks about her dad, or remembers him. “They were.”
“What do you think made her leave then?”
“You mean after he died?” I nod. Haylee shifts her body, turning to face me. “After he died, I think she just realized they’d planned for a future and it was taken away from her. She just sorta freaked out and needed a fresh start.”
I understood that. I hadn’t lost a husband, but I lost Jamie, and I knew what it was like to be so unsure about your future to want to run and see where it left you.
I think back to Grayer at the party, and the look on his face when he said,“Then stop hanging around here.”
Be careful, heart, you’re falling for baby blues and rough edges.
