Page 165 of The Legend
Emma, whowas watching the cars as well, looked over at me. “I’m really glad you’re okay.I’m not sure we could have gone on if one of you hadn’t made it.”
Smiling ather, I asked. “Why did you make those books for me?”
Emmasighed as though this should have been obvious. “Even though you are an asshole...I do love you. You, Spencer, Sway, Alley...you guys don’t know how much I’ve enjoyedjust being a part of all this.”
“You meanracing?”
“Yeah,I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.” She said sincerely. “I mean, growing upselling t-shirts for dad and being involved was fun but by that time dad hadall that stuff taken care by people who knew what they were doing. You...” she smiled, her bright blue eyes glowed.“You really did need me there for you.”
“We allmade a great team, didn’t we?”
“We did.”She agreed with another warm smile. “Even after dad started the Cup team, Istill look back to those summers where we lived out of your truck. They wereand still are some of the best summers of my life.”
“They werepretty great, huh?”
“Yeah atthe time I’m sure we would have disagreed but now, yes they are.” Emma giggled.“I’ll never forget us getting caught in the tornado or the time we went to thatrace in Republic with the chickens in the turns.”
“Chickens,that wasn’t even the worst part! You should have seen the fucking cow thatwandered out there during the heat races.”
As Swayand I had done, Emma and I took a walk down memory lane of all the moments throughoutout our lives that stood out to us. Every one of them involved racing, asthat’s all we ever known.
“You don’tever feel like by me racing, you didn’t get to do what you wanted as a child?”I asked sometime after we left and were now walking back to my truck.
“No. LikeI said Jameson, I loved every minute of what I do.” Emma shuffled through herpurse to find her cell phone that was vibrating. “You have no idea what’s itlike to watch you do what you do.”
I laughedunlocking the door and climbing in. “You act as though it’s like going to yourfavorite concert every night.”
“Itwas just like that for all of us.” Emma got inside the truck as well tossingher purse on the floor and then turned to face me. “That summer, the summer weall left home we could pull into any track in the mid-west or even the eastcoast and win. On any given night, it didn’t matter if Justin or Ryder or evenguys like dad or Evans were racing. I knew, without a shred of doubt my brothercould go out there and win. You have no idea what it was like for us witnessingthat side of you.”
I smiledin the darkness remember what that was like for us that summer.
“When weleft home, I remember how everyone would say,“Oh, he’ll be back,”but Iknew you wouldn’t. You left home with something to prove and by the end of thatsummer when you won the Triple Crown at eighteen...Iknew I had been a part of history and greatness and that you would continue tobe.”
Emma hadnever talked to me like this before and I wasn’t really sure how to processwhat she was saying to me.
“I nevergrow tired of watching you race, just the determination and energy thatradiates from you is enough to be notable but then it’s you. You have the rawnatural ability in a car that really makes you a legend Jameson.”
Sighing, Itook in what she said before smiling back at her. “Kind of like dad.”
I don’tknow why I said that. I always told Axel not to compare himself to me but I doit with Jimi all the time.
“No, youand dad are different. Dad was entertaining to watch but he didn’t drive likeyou do.” I must have given her a funny expression because she laughed and shookher head. “I guess what I mean is take Knoxville Nationals three years ago...do you remember that race?”
I noddedcarefully so she continued.
“Dad goesout there and set fast time. He made this clean lap, smooth lines and pushesthe car to the limit of that run. Kind of like he always did. Then you come outsome ten cars later, dad still has fast time up until then. I watched from thepit bleachers like I always did when you qualify...andthat’s when I see you staring at the track while you wait in line to qualify.You got out right before your turn and grabbed a handful of dirt in your glove,testing the consistency of it, then, you got back inside.
“No otherdriver does this but you, and you do iteverytime. So when you go outonto the track and the green flag drops your lap, you run down low on thebottom along the front stretch and up high on the back stretch. You knew bytesting the dirt the lines had changed and the moisture was gone out of the topgroove without even experimenting on that first lap.
“Youdidn’t drive the same as he did either. You poured every ounce of yourself intothose two laps because to you, that wasn’t just qualifying. To you...that meant a good starting spot and anyonethat has ever raced Knoxville Nationals knows where you start matters. And youbroke his record and the existing record that was held there for six years.
“That’sthe thrilling part about watching you race, you put everything you have intoevery lap you make. I’ve watched you run for laps on flat tires, pieces hangingoff your car, your brakes so hot they’ve melted the brake pads but you hang onjust to give iteverythingyou have. And it’s absolutely mesmerizingthat someone can do that.”
We weresilent for a moment and then it made sense to me. “I think that’s why I’mretiring.”
“What?”
“I can’tdo it anymore. And if I can’t put everything I have into it, I won’t do it.”
