Page 164 of The Legend
Shereached for another book behind her and flipped to a page. “Look at this one ofyou and Casten at Bristol.”
I laughedout loud at a photograph of me sitting next to my car on the pavement withCasten at about two on my shoulders. He had this huge grin with a corn dog inhis hand and dipping it in the ketchup he’d poured in my hair. I looked lessthan amused.
Sway and Imust have stayed up for hours going through those books, remembering,theuniformity each member of our family had brought to ourlives over the years.
We wereremembering all the moments that I promised her when I said forever. She didn’tneed me to retire to live the life she wanted, she had that already.
But forme, I needed a break.
And Iintended to thank Emma for this.
28.Four Wide Salute – Jameson
Four WideSalute – A four wide salute is where the field of cars line up four wide,waving to the crowd, in attempt to show their appreciation for the fans attendingat the start of the nights main event.
“What isthat?” Emma asked curiously looking at the bag I sat in front of her. With asmirk, I sat down on her couch watching.
“It’s apresent.” I told her with a smile, a rather proud one as I leaned back. ThoughSway told me it really wasn’t necessary for me to do so, I needed to show Emmajust how much I appreciated those scrapbooks.
Emmacrossed her arms over her tiny chest. “Now why would my brother, the one whousually tells me to fuck off at least once a week, buy me something?”
“I saw thescrapbooks.” I hinted with another smirk.
She lookedat me for a moment and then tilted her head.
“It’s justa gift to say thank you Emma.” I said. “But...ifyou don’t want it...” I reached for the bagonly to have her slap my hand away.
“I neversaid that.” Emma reached for the bag herself and looked inside. “Oh my godJameson!” her face lit up. “Where did you find these? I’ve lookedeverywhere for them.”
Emma hadan obsession with these candles she found in Cape St. Claire Maryland a fewyears ago but hadn’t found them since. With the help of Arie, we tracked downthe maker who apparently quit making them a few years back. I had a knack forpersuasion. I ended up giving her husband some free tickets to a NASCAR race,had lunch with them, and she made the exact scent Emma loved.
“I pulleda few strings.”
“Wow, Ican’t believe this. Ilovethese things.” She gushed and arranged themon her mantel above their fireplace next to their wedding photo.
It wasnice seeing her happy again. Emma hid it well but she was just as sad as all ofus that dad died. One would think her enthusiasm for everything would mean shewasn’t bothered by it but she was. Emma just showed her mourning in differentways. She planned events and made scrapbooks and redecorated our homes. Shedealt with the death the only way she knew how. That’s all any of us did.
Standing,I walked over to her before she started to rearrange her family room just sothat candles looked perfect. Believe me, she’s done this before.
“Thanksfor everything you’ve done for me and Sway.” I said sincerely pulling her intoa hug.
Just likemy mother, she broke down and started crying against my chest.
“Oh jeez,not this again,” I teased chuckling softly as I let her cry.
Emmagiggled despite her tears. “You’re such an asshole.”
“That’smore like it.” I laughed. “Now let me take my little sister to dinner.”
Emma and Iended up going to this barbeque restaurant we loved and eat our body weight insmoked ribs. I hadn’t eaten that much in a long time and contemplated beingrolled out of the restaurant.
We talkedabout dad, all the good times we had with him and then she brought up theaccident. “Do you feel like it’s your fault?”
I wasquiet for a moment, took a drink of my beer and then answered her honestly. “No...I did. I won’t lie. But just like Darrin, itwasn’t within my control. I can’t control what happens on a racetrack. I can toan extent but wrecks...they’re not planned.”I shook my head as I set my beer on the table. Emma listened intently. “But Ialso know that something wasn’t right about the accident and with Grady…well,we will never know and I’m not going to dwell on it. I saw how much me hangingon to what happened with Sway hurt over the years. I don’t want to do thatagain.”
Emma’seyes met mine. “But do you believe that? Do you honestly believe it wasn’t yourfault?”
“Now I do.It took a while but yes, I do. Even if the tire hadn’t blown or the axle andbearing didn’t break, on dirt, anything can happen.” I leaned back in the chairlooking out the window at the cars passing by. The headlights from the vehiclesflashed against the window. “You always think; what if this hadn’t happened orwhat if I didn’t choose that line...butnothing is going to bring him back. It happened.”
