Page 154 of The Legend
“You getthat fucking camera out of my face!” Jameson snapped back at the reporter.
“I’m—”
“I meanit.” Jameson stepped toward throwing his hand up. “Get lost or I’ll break yourfucking camera!”
“Same guyyou’ve always been.” The reporter mumbled and motioned to his camera man towalk away with him.
Some maythink Jameson is a jerk when it comes to the media or persistent fans but, theydon’t see the side that Jameson deals with. All his life a camera has been inhis face. As soon as he’s out of the car, he doesn’t have time to process whathappened before he’s being asked to explain it in detail. Yes, that’s part ofthis sport, but to judge a driver for reacting emotionally or with anger isn’tright. You have no idea what he’s dealing with. They had no idea what he wasdealing with. They may think they did but in actuality, they weren’t feelingwhat he was feeling.
I followedJameson inside the hauler. He stood facing the counter, his back to me. Withhis hand gripping the back of his neck, I noticed his breathing was labored.
“Are youdone running from me because there’s some things I need to say.” Kyle said tohim coming inside the hauler behind me. “It’s only fair that you listen.”
Turningsharply, Jameson caught my stare before darting his eyes to Kyle. He blinkedthe stunned expression away and the anger I saw earlier sparked.
“I justneed five minutes. Can you give me that? Five minutes?” Jameson hollered atKyle.
Kyle,knowing Jameson’s temper, turned and walked out immediately leaving us alone.
I didn’tsay anything because no words were necessary. He needed time and no one would givehim it right now. Did they not see what his eyes were telling them?
No. Theycouldn’t because other than his parents, no one understood those pensive glaresand the surreptitious squinting he did.
Jameson’sarms crossed over his chest, his head hung. Looking at him now I noticed thatevery day, his demeanor reminded me of Jimi. His calloused stance spokevolumes. I understood what Nancy meant when she said a part of Jimi would beforever with her because of Jameson.
Kylestayed away for about ten minutes when he came inside. “The guys need to get towork on the back-up car bud.”
That washis way of breaking the silence. Jameson nodded with his head for the guys tocome in. Scooting closer to me his arm wrapped around my shoulder drawing meinto him.
“Don’t dothis Jameson. Talk to us.” Kyle was still worked up, his tone evident of that.“Tell us what we can do to help you in the car.”
Onceagain, Jameson said nothing but a blank stare that reminded me of his time inthe hospital.
“If youhear me Jameson, say something!” Kyle yelled showing more anger than heintended to. “I need you to…” his voice faded when Jameson straightened hisstance and removed himself from being wrapped around me.
And I knewwhy. He had hit a nerve.
Kylewanted Jameson to talk to him and he was about to.
“I fuckinghear you.” He growled with a bitter laugh forcing amusement into his tone. Hisgaze swept to Kyle with anger. “I hear everyone. Just stop already.” Jamesonthen hurled the pile of merchandise setting on the counter next to him. Thecrew guys that had made their way in stopped and gaped at him. “I can’t do it!I’m not feeling the car, I have no idea what’s happening to it or changes thatshould be made. Something feels off to me and I can’t place it. Imagine howthat makes me feel right now! All my life I’ve raced and known exactly what’shappening in any car I’ve been inside. There’s never been a time when I didn’tknow. Now what do I do? I can barely read the fucking gauges let alone feel howthe car is handling. So yeah Kyle, I don’t know what you want me to say.”
The wordswere spoken with a vulnerability that was harsh and cutting, reminding us ofour deepest fears. Jameson was scared inside the car.
Nothingmore was said by anyone.
Later thatnight, I made Jameson his favorite meal before a race and we sat outside themotor coach talking with Bobby and Paul as Casten provided the entertainment.Crazy kid always knew how to lighten the mood.
Standingnear the side, I laughed at Casten dancing around to some hip hop song as heimpersonated Brody at driver introductions from the All Star race two weeksago.
Tate cameby again and sat next to Jameson.
“It sureis nice to see your brooding ass back here.” Tate said with a genuine smile atJameson.
“It’s goodto be back.” Jameson returned the smile. “Thanks again for helping Sway andKyle so much.”
“Hey, noproblem,” He shifted his weight in the chair appearing comfortable. “How areyou feeling these days?”
“Good.”Jameson nodded. “A little sore but it’s good. Have you seen Easton?”
