“Stop laughing,” he pulled back to glare. “This isnotfunny. What if I was bit by a deadly spider?”
“Well then—I will apologize when you die.”
He side-eyed me. “Nice.”
It wasn’t long and the kids returned all of them poppingoff their rev limiters as Jameson would put it.
After that it was the battle of getting the little shitsto bed and to stay in bed. It was almost like they smelled the fresh air andonce it hit their lungs they acted like fucking brats.
It took Jameson, me, and Spencer just to get Axel intobed and finally Nancy had to step in.
Arie was easy. She went out like a light when Jimicaptured her in his arms.
Casten stayed awake, for a while, eyeing everyonecuriously, but it seemed okay since he was a baby and couldn’t tell anyone howridiculous his parents acted when the kids went to bed.
He did however pass out about the time Tommy, who wassuffering from allergies and who took to drinking Benadryl, plopped down in acamping chair next to Jameson and started telling him about how he thought heneeded a raise.
Tommy was joking because Jameson gave willingly toeveryone on his team whether it was the Cup team or sprint cars.
Every year Ford handed Jameson a brand new truck of hischoice. And every year, he then handed that truck over to one of his boys. Healways went all out on Christmas and birthdays for anyone on his teams. Mostthought he was an asshole but he knew everyone’s birthday on his team andsurprised them every year with something most could never dream of affording.
Why did he do that?
Because to him, he wouldn’t have any of the luxuries he hadnow if it wasn’t for them.
Jameson, concerned that his only mechanic on his sprintcar team was drinking Benadryl as though it was a juice box, looked at Jimi,who was still holding Arie, for help.
Jimi shrugged when Jameson tried to take the bottle fromhim and gave us the same look he’d given Nancy when she made him sit throughtheSex in the Citymovie.
“He’s drinking Benadryl through a straw.” Jimi remindedus. “I guarantee you that’s the least of your problems tonight.”
And my god was he right. That night seemed to besomething similar to the old pit lizard days. Thank god there wasn’t a tattooparlor nearby but we did have a branding torch courtesy of Spencer.
It started when Spencer said, “I bet you can’t swimacross this lake.”
You never say that to these boys and expect them not toreact. Ever.
Jimi stood, shifting Arie to his other arm, and motionedaround. “The shit is about to hit the fan and I’m tired. No one kill themselvestonight. It’s supposed to be relaxing and the nearest hospital is miles away.”He looked at Tommy and Spencer. “You two stay away from my fucking tenttonight.”
Jimi and Nancy put Arie in our tent and then snuck off totheirs.
So what did happen when the parents went to bed?
Oh god. Where do I even begin?
Spencer started in with the ‘I bet you can’t do that’shit and that resulted in Jameson, Justin, Tommy and Aiden swimming across thelake. About one minute into it, Justin confessed he couldn’t swim very well andended up coming back when he couldn’t touch anymore.
That left Jameson, Tommy and Aiden battling it out intheir own version of aquatic survivor. I was amazed someone didn’t drown outthere with the way they were dunking each other.
Halfway across the lake, they gave up and decideddrinking beer was more entertaining than drowning. It also had something to dowith Justin reminding them there were snakes in the lake.
Spencer convinced they had no balls for not completinghis stupid ‘I bet you can’t do that’ task, threw insults at them all night.
Tommy, wanting to one-up Spencer, decided he was going tofill the water balloons the kids had with piss. Yes, a twenty-eight year oldman-child was filling water balloons with urine.
The worst part, my twenty-eight year old husband joinedhim.
Here’s the thing though and what these dumb shits neverconsidered. Spencer has pulled off more pranks than all of them put together.He knows when he’s about to be pranked and usually knows how.
