Page 31 of Shade

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Page 31 of Shade

At the thought of her, I fill with rage and tear the room apart. I break windows and walls, throw vases and destroy anything I can.

I drink. Then drink some more because I’m dying of a thirst I’ll never quench.

I’m stumbling, half awake, half somewhere else and into the bathroom. I’m on the floor, crying and struggling, vomiting.

I’m alone and scared.

I’m distraught and deranged.

I’m flying. I’m falling.

I’m rolling on my back. I’m staring at the white ceiling wishing for blackness. All I’ll ever be now is powerless to the ringing in my ears of a sound I’llneverfucking forget.

I don’t want to feel,only, I can feel everything. All of it. She’s still in me, under my skin, destroying me from the inside, ripping me up. She strangles on veins and suffocates my heart, with,“Where I end, you begin. . . .”

Rhya didn’t love me. She lived off me. She drained me until there was nothing left. I let her.


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