Page 200 of Trading Paint
“Yeah honey, it’s me.”
“Oh...good job on the pole,”
“Thanks...hey I called for a reason.” I paused preparing myself. “Come see me.”
“What?”
“This weekend,” I clarified. “Come see me in Charlotte. I’ll buy the ticket for you to come.”
She was quiet for a few seconds; her steady breathing was the only sound before she sighed softly. “I uh...areyou sure?”
“Well yeah.” Letting out a soft chuckle, I continued. “I asked—didn’t I?”
She was silent so I added fuel.
“I miss you and I got the pole.” I softened my tone. “Please honey...” I begged.
“Fine, I’ll come.” She sighed with a soft giggle.
My perverted brain was focused on the fact that she said I could come. I blame this on the fact that I haven’t had sex in over a year. Hell, I’d barely done any bleeding of the pressure valve these days.
We ended the conversation after that so she and I could both get some sleep. I was no longer focused on the fines handed down that had consumed my mind all week. Now I had the pole to the Coca-Cola 600 and Sway was coming.
Oh goddamn it.
My body hadotherideas at the thought of the word coming again—so I snuck off to the bathroom before heading to bed.
I woke up feeling both relaxed and energized. For one, Sway was coming to see me and I raced sprints last night. Whenever I got a chance to race on the dirt, I felt better.
Things were looking good, so I thought.
I only saw what I wanted to and had avoided the underlying feelings for too long holding out hope that they’d go away. They didn’t. I was determined to do something about it this time. I was done messing around. We needed more from each other and if physical was all we could have, then so be it. The thought both excited and terrified me.
I walked through the paddock that morning, lifting my chin in acknowledgment at the calls from fellow drivers and fans who gathered.
My mind kept considering how I might tell her I wanted more.
I’ve wanted to tell her so many times how my feelings had changed but I couldn’t. This lifestyle was not something I could ask her to adapt to, how could I? That was the part I couldn’t get past because in order to give myself to her in all the ways I wanted to, my demanding schedule was what was holding me up.
I’m on the road forty weeks out of the year. Monday through Wednesday, I’m usually doing sponsorship commitments or working on sprint cars for my team. Thursday through Sunday, I was at the track racing and then it started all over again on Monday.
Prior to the team meeting, I stopped by the motor coach where Cal had fixed breakfast for everyone.
“What are you going to do when she’s here? You know you need to be concentrating and not thinking of ways to get Sway in bed with you.” Spencer asked shoving a bagel in his mouth.
I kicked him under the table we were sitting at. “Fuck off. It’s not like that with Sway.”
“You’re in denial.”
I shoved myself away from the table and got ready for my endless amount of interviews today.
On the way there, Sway sent me a text.
Got my ticket, by there at two.Someone had better pick me up, asshole.
I typed one back.
Headed to interviews.Can’t wait to see you! Alley will pick you up.
