Page 199 of Trading Paint
Not a good one, but that was all but forgotten when Justin held off the King of the Dirt for the win. My car, a driver I hired and my friend—won that night. The only feeling greater than winning, was seeing a friend win. After celebrating for three hours, I called it a night when that determined pit lizard from before starting hanging on my arm.
“Jesus Christ, you stink!” Spencer grumbled once we were inside the car.
I inhaled deeply. “There’s nothing better than racing fuel.”
On the way back that night, I drove with the windows down as the methanol was a little strong when confined. With the night’s air, the warm summer breeze blew throughout the mini-van. The freight trucks hum drowned out Aiden’s obsessive talking and Spencer’s intolerable snoring.
Being back on the dirt tonight confirmed one thing for me—I couldn’t wait any longer.
My stomach was in knots that night when I made the decision—a decision that was essentially eleven years in the making. Still...my will wavered and probably would until I saw her again.
I had commitments now, obligations, fans, sponsors...the list endless and if I thought it would get easier; I was in denial.
So when would I ever get a chance for me?
Sure, I loved what I did, this was what I always wanted and worked so hard for. Racing was my life, my passion. Somewhere between thetimeI left home to chase this dream, and now, I felt something missing and it was her. The one that changed everything I thought I knew with one look.
For the longest time, I ignored the fact that I was in love with Sway for one simple reason, what if she loved me back?
If I didn’t want to lose her, how long would I let this go on? I have only ever had physical relationships. How could I have more?
Just simply being my friend came with a price tag—imagine if she were more? How would that affect her life and how could I do that to her?
I knew my life would never be normal but I wasn’t about to take away any sense of normalcy that she had away from her. How could I? Sway never had a say in anything and Charlie proved that.
Was it fair that she would soon have responsibilities that no twenty-two year old should have? No. The difference between her and me was that I asked for this. I knew the sacrifices I would have to make and waspreparedfor them from the beginning. She wasn’t. She had no idea of the pressure and opinionative populace that was out there. Being pessimistically jaded, I didn’t want her to know that side of the world but I soon wouldn’t have a choice and neither would she.
Consequently, I knew my decision was wrong but I also knew that if nothing in life was free, then I wasreadyandwillingto pay anything for her happiness.
“Who are you calling?” Spencer asked stepping inside the motor coach that night before heading to his hotel.
“Uh...Sway,” I admitted and hung my head waiting for her to answer.
“I’m sure you want to be doing more,” he countered with a smug grin.
“Shut up,” I kicked him on the way out. Gratifyingly, he fell down the steps. “Hey wait, get back here.” I yelled after him hanging out the door by my arm on the door handle.
He turned to me brushing dirt off his jeans. “What?”
“Did Josh take care of Blake?”
Spencer’s eyes lit up like he’d just been told his favorite holiday, Thanksgiving, would be celebrated twice this year.
“Dude, you wouldn’t believe how scared that douche was. Even pissed his pants when Josh and his buddy got a fake search warrant,”
“Why’d he piss his pants over a search warrant?”
“Turns out...he was growing weed in his apartment and selling to the students at Western.”
“No shit?” This turned out better than I thought it would. Even though I would have liked to see him threatened about never touching Sway again, at least he was in trouble.
“Shit.” Spencer nodded turning to walk away. “Oh and...don’tsound too eager when you beg her to come out here. Have some dignity.”
Chuckling as I swung the door closed, Sway answered, “Hello?” her voice bleary.
“Shit,” glancing at the clock on the wall I realized it was nearly two in the morning there. “I forgot the time difference.”
“Jameson?”
