Page 6 of Unbound
“Fuck you.” Without looking at me, she shakes her head, as if she can’t or won’t do this with me. But she is, she always does. “You have no idea how much I love you and how much you continue to hurt me.”
I watch her for a second, my stomach rolling, black eyes wandering over sad lies.
“What about now? Do you hate me?” I keep asking her because I want her to say yes, and I want to believe her.
I take a step in her direction, causing her to back away until she is flush against the wall. When I look at her, I notice she’s wearing one of my old T-shirts that comes up just above her knees. It’s one she stole from me years ago. “I hated you long before tonight, Rawley.”
You hate me but you’re wearing my clothes.
I snort at my thoughts, turning, and smack my palm against the wall above her. The problem is, she’s incapable of really hating me and that’s where our problem lies. If she doesn’t hate me, I’ll keep coming back for more.
“You don’t know shit.” My posture stiffens and I take a step back, needing to distance myself. Lost eyes remain focused, staring her down. Licking my lips, I gauge her reaction, her actions that don’t come.
“Yeah, you’re right.” Her stare levels with mine. “I don’t. Because ofyou. Because of this fucking game you keep playing. Stop doing this to me.”
“It’s notallme.” She knows what I mean by that.
“Goddamn you, Rawley. Why can’t you just grow the fuck up! Why can’t you actually take on some responsibility for your actions for once in your life?”
She’s like a broken record.
“Because you won’t fucking admit the truth to me!” I scream back at her. The sound of my fist going into the wall beside her causes her to flinch, her hands jump to her ears. She spins around, moving to the side so she’s not trapped against the wall.
I blow out two shallow breaths and I have to take a step forward. I need to be near her.
Her hands fly to my chest, stopping me. “Don’ttouch me,” her shaking voice warns.
She’s ignoring my statement. Sheknowswhy I’m here. But this is what we do. We torment, torture and use each other until there’s not a shred of purity left.
“Don’t touch you?” I roll my eyes, looking at the wall, then to the glass on the floor, and then back to her. “Okay.” I nod.
“Why are you here?” she asks, her words, her face, everything about her completely drained as if she can’t take being near me any longer.
I don’t answer.
Instead, I sniff because I don’t fucking knowwhyI’m here. All I do know is Ihaveto be here. Ihaveto make her hate me right now, forever. I’ll destroy her until she’s nothing but a crumbled mess at my feet.
I take two steps toward her, only to have her back up right in the direction I want her to.
She lets out the heaviest of sighs but yet, she doesn’t push me out. “What the hell were you thinking tonight?” she asks, as if I should have an answer. “Why did you have to ruin your mom’s party? Honestly, do you ever think of anyone but yourself before you cause a scene?”
I don’t answer her question and instead, ask one of my own.
“Tell me some truth.”
Her laugh holds no humor. “What truth? Do you even know what that means anymore?”
“No. But you don’t either.” I shake my head. Everything’s out of focus when I blink. “Tell me what happened in Mexico.”
Her sore red-soaked eyes linger on mine. “I told you.”
I shake my head. “No, you didn’t. You told melies.” My words are acid, eating flesh in its wake, like a razor dragged down skin.
“No, I didn’t. It was an accident, Rawley.” Her voice is tired; she’s done explaining.
“Sophie…” Her name leaves my lips in a rush. “…anaccidentis me slamming my truck into a tree at eighty miles an hour, and me being pissed it didn’t kill me.”
She won’t look at me now. Maybe she can’t because her eyes are on my chest, the place I used to hold only for her.Who am I kidding, it’s still only hers.
