Page 10 of Unbound
Her hands move from her sides, to my back where she claws at my skin, breaking me, ripping me open with her force. It’s the same thing she does to my heart. Her presence, her love, it’s everywhere and it’s overwhelming and consuming in moments like this. She’s like a forbidden fruit. A death sentence. Once I took a bite, I was granted the purgatory of loving only her.
How can she do this? Why? Why me?
I blink and then focus on her, my glare so dark she shivers.
I don’t hold back. I can’t. Not anymore. She needs to see this is the end. She needs to believe I’m never coming back after this.
I don’t stop yet though. Even when she tells me it’s too much. I don’t stop because deep down, she fucking wants it and knows this is the last time.
I move my mouth to hers. I’m taking her breath and betraying her soul. Her body wrenches with sobs and mine shakes, my body begging to release when she finally kisses me on her own will. I don’t know why she kisses me, but I take it all.
It’s everything I can do to hold on and not slow down the moment our mouths meet in that way, lovingly, like they used to because there’s familiarity there. It’s a warmth only she provides for me. Eyes squeezing shut, I fall hopelessly until I’m found, dragged ashore only to be pulled down by her current.
My body breaks out in sweat, my hips slide against hers, rocking, shaking, consumed. Reaching down, I take her right leg higher and angle myself inside her, our hips grinding against each other, deeper, letting her feel what I’m taking.
“Rawley….” She moans my name this time and I know, right then, it’s the very last time I’ll make her do that. She closes her eyes, more tears squeeze out. It’s so fucking hard seeing her in pain. It’s even hard knowing I’m the cause of it.
Emotion swells up, years of regret gnawing at me and I break the contact our mouths have. When I finally allow myself to come, I fall against her chest, my body shaking with sobs that aren’t just from pleasure. Sure, it’s there, a little, but this is from the devastation of knowing what this means for us.
The end.
Tears soak her neck, bathe her skin in acid as she cries too. My hands curl around the back of her shoulders, slamming her into my last thrust. It’s the last light of day crumbling, a promise to love me forever, destroyed, freedom and innocence ruined by choicesshemade and my mind’s refusal to forgive.
What the fuck did I just do?
I’m panting as I pull out. I don’t look at her. I can’t. I won’t. Not yet. Leaning to the side, I get my jeans up around my waist. My chest heaves with labored breaths when I reach for my T-shirt beside me. Sitting back on my knees, I look down at her. Her shirt’s pushed up around her breasts, her legs spread open, her forearm over her face. She’s crying. She’s sobbing so badly her body is curled up, the muscles in her stomach clenching.
In some ways, I’m too fucked up to care. This doesn’t change anything. She started this years ago but I need to be the one to finish it.
Fuck me.
Fuck us.
I swallow over my tears, wiping my forearm over my eyes and move to sit on the edge of the bed, facing the picture on her nightstand. It’s one of me holding a football in the air when the coach announced me as starting quarterback my freshman year of high school. She’s right beside me. It makes me sick that she has still has it beside her bed after everything we’ve been through.
With a quick flick of my wrist, I knock the picture to the ground. The glass inside the frame shatters when it hits the corner of the molding on the wall.
I twist my head to her and scratch the back of my head. “You let this happen too.”
In my chest, it feels like I forced her. Her actions told meno, between her pulling me closer and silently asking for more, and I ignored her.
Her eyes open and she stares at me, words filling the emptiness between us. “Yes, I did.” She’s making excuses. “But I didn’t want it, not like this. And you took it, again. It’s what you always do. Youtake.” She sobs, her body shaking so badly I struggle to hear the words.
The smug set of my lips means nothing with the tears I have falling. “You wanted it.” Her eyes don’t leave mine. She’s staring at me and I sense her anger like she knows what I’m doing and resents me for it. “What now? You gonna tell me you hate me?” I hate the way my voice breaks at the end. Why can’t I have strength now?
“I don’t just hate… you.” Her words waver and break with the shattering of my soul. “Ineverwant to ever see you again.”
We’refinallyhere. All love gone completely.
I remind myself, again, it had to be this way or I’d keep coming back.
Sophie curls into herself facing the wall, her T-shirt riding up and bare ass visible to me. My eyes travel the length of her body and then crash.
I can’t believe I’m doing this to her.
My temples throb and my eyes ache, my stomach rolling. The words seem inadequate but I say them anyway. “I’m sorry,” I mumble, not for what I just did, or for keeping her at bay all these years, or the fact that she hates me, and not for holding on for so long. I’m not sure what I’m sorry for.
Lay down your head and I’ll sing you to sleep with a lullaby of a monster
