Page 98 of Unbearable
I take a handful of popcorn with my other hand. “This is the best movie ever.”
She laughs. “Uh huh.”
RAVEN DOES AS she says and comes by Wednesday night for dinner. She gets there about an hour before we’re supposed to meet my parents. I’m so completely bored that I’m ready when she arrives and sitting by the door like a kid dying to get out of the house on summer vacation.
Downstairs cars are lined up in front of the shop as we come outside, evidence the shop is staying busy. It’s cold out tonight, a chill present in the air. Raven pulls the hood of her sweatshirt up over her head and I love that she’s not worried about messing up her hair. She’s comfortable in jeans and hoodies, much like myself.
“Thanks for driving.” I tell her looking over at my truck parked in the corner of the lot that hasn’t been touched in nearly a month. It sits with the front end smashed, flat tires and a shattered window covered with a tarp. It’s totaled and waiting on the insurance company to settle on the payoff. At least I was smart enough to carry full coverage on it. Naturally, I was at fault and have to pay for not only the property damage I caused but the deductible on my insurance.
Breathing in deeply, I stare at the truck, my 1976 Ford F150 I bought when I was seventeen with my own money.
Raven notices my anxiety for the situation and the consequences I’m facing. She runs her hand over the stubble on my head. “I miss the hair I can pull.”
She’s trying to distract me and it works. I lean in, my body pressing to hers. With my hand on her hip, I run it up her spine to the base of her neck. Taking a handful of her hair in my fist, I grip it and tug. “I miss pulling yours while you’re wrapped around my body,” I whisper in her ear. I’m hard instantly and I know she feels it.
“Stop it, Ty.” She breathes out unevenly. She can’t stop her body from reacting to me. “If you keep this up, I’m leaving and you can go to dinner by yourself.”
I drop my hand immediately and take a step back. She stares at me and I want to kiss her so fucking badly, but I know it might push her away. “You started that,” I point out.
She nods and takes my hand, walking toward her car. “I know. And I’m sorry.”
VALENTINO’S IS THE only Italian restaurant in Lebanon, and quite frankly, the best in the state. It’s owned by Nevaeh’s father, Tony Valentino, and we’re frequent visitors here. I’d say I eat here at least once a week.
I’m not sure what I’m expecting to happen when my parents arrive and we’re all sitting together. It’s the first time in nearly a year I’ve sat at a table with them and I hold back a frustrated sigh, but underneath my annoyance, I’m glad Raven’s here with me.
“I’m glad you could make it too,” Mom says, hugging Raven before she sits down. Her hand finds mine on the table. “You look better, Ty.”
Taking the glass of water already on the table, I take a slow drink before saying, “I’m feeling better.”
“I hear you’re going to University of Oregon. What are you majoring in, Raven?” My dad asks, breaking the ice with her.
“Accounting. Numbers are my thing.” Her eyes drop to the glass and the water condensation pooling beneath the glass. Taking her napkin, she wipes it away before taking a drink herself.
I know Raven’s a numbers girl. She’s very black or white. There’s no gray. There can’t be. In her mind, there’s always an answer. In numbers, you always have an answer, something, a conclusion to a problem.
Maybe that’s why she had to have a definition to us for so long. She couldn’t handle the gray.
Dad smiles at Raven. He’s always liked her. It’s then, right then I notice this is a look they never gave Berkley. Maybe they knew from the beginning that the love I felt for her was never going to be the forever kind. The kind I feel for Raven.
We make small talk around the table as we order, the topic of why I ignored my parents for so long never surfaces and I’m glad. I don’t want to talk about it.
Raven excuses herself to the bathroom and immediately my mom is asking if we’re dating.
“We kinda are,” I tell her, not knowing how else to put it. “We’re definitely not dating anyone else.”
Mom smiles tenderly. “I’ve always loved her. She’s great for you.”
I know I didn’t need my mom’s approval to date Raven, or anyone else’s for that matter, but strangely, it’s reassuring because they never liked Berkley and certainly never told me they liked her.
I look at my dad. “How’s work?”
With a heavy sigh, he runs his hand over his clean shaved jaw. “It’s going pretty well. Slow this time of year but it’ll pick up.” My dad’s a custom-home builder and I think in some ways, he was bent by me choosing cars over construction.
Mom leans forward in her chair. “Tyler, we both just wanted to let you know again how sorry we are about everything.”
“I know you are and I’ll admit, it’s going to take me some time,” I tell them honestly. It’s not something that’s going to change for me overnight. But I also want them to know this, me being here is me trying.
They seem relieved by my words and both smile.
