Page 54 of Unbearable
“Never?”
“Well, once you had tits, it certainly crossed my mind, but I don’t know, never really thought too much about it.”
Guys don’t like to talk about things like this, I can tell. Our whispered conversation fades away and we realize Nova is out cold, snoring away.
Turning off the TV, the room lights up with purple and pink, brighter now and I lay back next to Tyler, Nova at our feet where she originally fell asleep.
Side-by-side we lie, his soft breaths stirring my hair. My heartbeat is a drum in my ears, and I struggle to keep still and not turn over and cuddle with him.
Everything’s quiet for about a half an hour when Tyler jumps. “There’s a spider beside me. I felt it touch my arm. Hold me.”
“You baby, kill it.”
“I can’t. It’s dark and I can’t see it.”
Instead of killing it, he practically lays on top of me. I’m not much for cuddling and sigh about every ten seconds.
His hot breath stirs my hair, the muscles along his arm twitching as he moves his arm over my stomach. “What’s wrong with you?” His fingertips graze the underside of my breast and I stop breathing all together. “You let me put my D in your V but you won’t cuddle?”
“What’s your V, Auntie?”
And now my heart just stopped.
“Holy crap!” I sit up and stare at Nova, who’s curiously watching Tyler and me. “What are you doing awake?”
She shrugs. “Can’t sleep. Can I have a slice of pizza? I’m hungry.”
“Sure.” I’d do just about anything for her not to ask what V and D are again. But she does.
“Do I have a V?”
Tyler’s sitting up in the fort now, watching me with humor in his eyes, waiting for me to come up with something. I think he can tell I’m moments away from a panic attack when he stands and follows us into the kitchen.
“Uh, well….” Taking a slice of pizza for her out of the fridge, I place it on a plate and stick it in the microwave for a few seconds. “He fixed my car.” Okay, bad example and poorly executed and I want to take it back as soon as I say it, but this is Nova and there’s no takebacks with her.
Tyler’s sitting at the table now and drops his head forward, laughter rolling through his shoulders.
“So like his D is his tool and he can fix your V with it? Is your V your car?”
I’m so screwed.
“Yeah.” I smack at Tyler’s shoulders when he can’t help himself and breaks out into full-on laughter. “Something like that.”
Nova shrugs, but something tells me that isn’t the last of this. It never is with her.
“You were absolutely no help,” I say to Tyler, smacking the back of his head.
His eyes brighten when he looks at me, and I know he’s about to say something dirty so my glare intensifies, warning him. “I think… I’m a lot of help. YourValways seemedverysatisfied with me.”
He’s got me there.
As we eventually make it back to the fort for the night, I watch Tyler sleep for about an hour with Nova right between us. It’s then I realize even though I don’t have the relationship I crave. Having him as my friend is something I need and want. It’s where we started and essentially what ties me to him in every way. I can’t lose that over what I think my heart needs.
