Page 37 of Unbearable

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Page 37 of Unbearable

My life sucks.

No, really, I know that’s dramatic but those are my thoughts after the incident with Tyler. I mean, fuck, he drove an hour to get me at two in the morning, I puked on him and then told him I loved him and begged him to make love to me.

I can’t make this shit up.

And then I texted him the next day and haven’t heard anything from him. So naturally, I’m a nervous wreck the week before Thanksgiving and fuck up my marketing management final.

I’m walking back to my dorm room after class, a coffee in one hand and my phone in the other. Last year when I had a bad day, I texted Tyler and he’d come to my dorm or I’d sneak into his apartment late at night and everything would be better the next day.

Now that’s changed.

Staring at my phone, I want to text him when a message pops up from Rawley with a picture. Sliding my thumb over the screen, I open the message to see it’s one of Tyler at the bar and he’s sitting on a stool at the bar with Berkley, her hand over his. It’s like a fucking punch to my throat.

Rawley: Thought you should know….

He thought I should know?

I don’t reply at first because I’m honestly too shocked to even consider replying. At both Rawley and Tyler.

Me: Dude, why would you even send that to me? Are you trying to break my heart?

Rawley: No. Tyler does that on his own. Wanted you to know he’s still seeing her.

Me: You don’t know off one interaction that they’re seeing each other.

Rawley: True. I don’t. But I’d bet money he is.

Me: Shut up. Don’t ruin my night.

He doesn’t reply after that. I even text Lenny and ask her what’s going on.

Me: Lenny… is Tyler seeing Berkley?

It takes her an hour and I’m halfway through my marketing term paper but she replies.

Lenny: No. He can’t stand her.

I send the picture to her.Me: What does this look like then?

Lenny: Looks to me he’s leaving and whoever took the picture caught it out of context.

I guess I knowwhyhe didn’t reply to my message three weeks ago. Maybe he’s moved on and there’s nothing I can do about it. Maybe the reason he can’t love me is because he’s still in love with her? Unlikely. Tyler holds grudges. I know that much. When he was fifteen, the neighbor kid hit him in the face with a baseball. Knocked out two teeth. To this day, Tyler won’t even acknowledge poor Johnny when he walks into Walker Automotive to get his oil changed. Maybe because it wasn’t an accident and Johnny meant to hit him, but still, years later, he apologized and Tyler wouldn’t accept it.

The likelihood of him forgiving Berkley is low, but there’s a girly part of me, the same part that got drunk and begged him to love me, thinks maybe he might because they have history together.

“WHAT DO YOU mean Tyler’s coming over for dinner?” I ask Lenny in horror as we stand in my mother’s kitchen peeling potatoes on Thanksgiving.

Lenny takes the potato peeler in her hand and points it at my face. “Don’t blame me. Mia invited him. And besides that, Tyler’s actually my family.”

She’s right. Tyler is the closest thing Lenny has to family. It’s easy to forget Lenny’s background because looking at her now, she’s completely comfortable in the life she and Red have. You’d never know what she’s been through in the last year from her abusive ex-husband to him coming after her and shooting Red in the chest. It’s amazing to me how well they’ve both adjusted to everything.

“I know that, but still….” I start sweating and my heart pounds in my chest, pretty much an indication that once I see him this will be a lot worse and it might possibly lead to me having a heart attack. I don’t know why but I assumed I wouldn’t see him this weekend and could silently avoid him. I mean, he hasn’t messaged me in weeks so it was possible but now highly unlikely unless I left. Which I wouldn’t do because Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

“What do I do?”

Lenny shrugs. “Maybe play hard to get?”

I sigh, my shoulders slumping forward. “I can’t. I’m incrediblyeasyto get.”


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