Page 44 of The Only Thing That's Real
Not daring to speak another word, I rack my brain, trying to figure out how I can make what I’ve done right. He needs to know I would never mention this to anyone. I would never write about something so private.
I’m not sure I can come back from this and I can kiss Pop’s paycheck goodbye.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Jim opens the undercarriage of the bus, and I grab my things. I’m attaching my smaller bag to the top of my larger roller bag when Sean, Matt, and Jay approach.
“Where the heck are you going?”
“Um, I’m not sure I’m the right fit. I want this to be perfect for you guys.”
“What happened?” Sean asks just as Matt’s eyes dart over to where I’m certain Knox is listening. “What did Knox do?”
“Fuck you,” the man in question seethes.
I hate that they instantly assume it was Knox, and the need to defend him overtakes me. “Nothing at all. It’s me, not him. I’ve been extremely unprofessional. It’s best if I just go.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Knox, what the hell is she talking about?” Sean questions.
“I’m gonna ride on the other bus to the hotel and I’ll figure things out from there.”
“Fucking Knox,” Jay says under his breath.
Putting my hand on Jay’s shoulder, I try my best to make things clear to the guys. Looking him in the eye, I speak the truth again. “It wasn’t him. It was me. I’m in the wrong here.”
Walking away, dragging my bags behind me, I repeat under my breath, “It wasn’t him.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Knox
She defended me.
I sure as shit wasn’t expecting that.
Shocked, I stare at her retreating figure as she makes her way to the other bus. Anger laced with fear propelled me to follow her off the bus. Not that I thought she would reveal my secret to our bus driver. I just needed to watch her get her shit and go with my own eyes.
Then, when the guys showed up, she took full accountability. My stomach is still rolling with anxiety, but her vague confession of blame has tempered it.
Hearing my best friends assume I must have been in the wrong sure as hell didn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But it’s not like I’ve done much in the last few years to make them think otherwise. Conflict in the groupis more often than not a result of my shitty attitude. So, the blame being placed on me tracks.
Still pisses me off, though.
While I watch Ryan walk away, everyone else’s attention is on me.
I try to take the last step off the bus, but Matt is in my face. “No, you aren’t going anywhere. You don’t get to run away from this.”
“He’s right,” Trevor says from out of nowhere.
When did he get here?
“We’re leaving. Everyone on board now. The girls will ride on the other bus and meet us at the hotel.”
We do as we’re told, the guys shouting a litany of questions at my back as I storm to the back of the bus, ignoring them.
The vibration of my phone snaps me out of my desolate state.
Ryan
