Page 120 of The Only Thing That's Real
Once he’s convinced he won’t wake up, he sits back down next to me, being ever so careful not to wake his boy.
My heart splinters watching them together.
Angus and Mia whisper in the corner. Angus is encouraging her to do something she seems apprehensive about. Eventually, she caves and approaches us.
“So, I was wondering... well, he’s exhausted and he really should get to bed, but we’d like to stay. Would you like to take him home and hang out with him? I totally get it if you want to stay here and wait for the baby, but I wanted to give you the option.”
Knox looks at me, petrified. I nod my encouragement.
“You sure? I’ve never changed a diaper or?—”
“I’ll help with all that. You’ll be fine,” I chime in. The poor guy is a nervous, excited wreck.
“He’s pretty durable. You won’t break him.” Mia smiles down at him.
“I don’t have a car seat, and I drove Cal’s truck.”
Angus steps in. “Take mine. The seat is already in the back.” He hands over a set of keys. “We met here so we can take Mia’s car to come get him.”
“If you’re comfortable with it, I’d love to.”
We say goodbye to Daisy, Owen, and Sharon. Angus hands me a backpack, kisses Mia, then escorts us to his truck.
Sawyer doesn’t wake as Knox’s little brother gives him a lesson in car seats. Knox hides his fear well until Angus says they just started potty training.
“No shit?” Knox says, stunned.
“It’s early days, but if he asks to go, you’ll have to help him. At home he has a toddler seat that fits him, so just set him on the seat and hold on to him so he doesn’tfall in.”
“Okay,” Knox replies, sweating and looking so unsure I’m afraid he’s about to change his mind.
“He isn’t waking up to pee yet, so he’s in a pullup diaper. If he doesn’t wake up, he should be covered.”
“No problem,” I say, unable to stop myself from stepping in. Knox is a deer in headlights.
“Just call either of us if you have questions, and thanks.” Angus shuts the truck door and makes his way to the front of the hospital before his brother can chicken out.
Knox rolls down his window once he’s behind the wheel. “Follow me?”
“Sure, but you’ve got this.”
“Thank you. I’m so glad you’re here.” He really means it. He thinks he can’t do this on his own. He’s wrong, but I’m happy to help him through his first time alone with Sawyer.
“No thanks needed. Give me two minutes. My car is right over there.”
Knox drives five miles under the speed limit all the way to the cabin. The drive that should have taken us twenty minutes takes us closer to thirty. It would annoy me if it wasn’t so sweet.
This side of him is why I’ve fallen so hard, but it’s also the reason I should walk away before things get too serious. Will he resent me one day when he doesn’t get to have more children? Is he not thinking clearly because of all the changes happening in his life? The band ending. Becoming a father. Moving back home. Absolutely everything about his life has changed.
Is it right for me to commit to him when I know it’s not what’s best for him?
Chapter Sixty
Knox
Sawyer’s fine blond hair sticks to his forehead. His rosy cheeks a result of being tucked under the covers of my bed. His little mouth hangs open, his hands in fists above his head.
We’ve been home for a couple of hours, and he’s been asleep the entire time. Ryan is on the couch. She said she wanted to give us time alone. I hate that she’s sleeping on the couch, but I’m grateful to have my undivided attention solely on him.
