I shrug, watching her spin the ball between her fingers. “Yeah. I’ve gotten used to it. Figured out some drills that work when it’s just me.”
“So how long were you out there getting some air before you ended up here getting more air?”
“Hour and a half? Maybe two.”
“Hmm,” she says. “Makes sense now, hearing how you got some big awards. Congratulations, by the way.”
“Thanks,” I tell her, my eyes going down, watching my feet swing in the air. And I let a big breath out, looking like a dragon.
“Again with the lack of enthusiasm,” she replies, half joking. “I was expecting you to tell me all about it, every single goal you’ve saved that earned you those trophies, how you jumped and caught the ball and then … scored a point?”
I side-eye her, letting out a laugh. Maybe the first time something like that has come out of me in a while. “Sorry, I just—life’s kind of shit right now.”
“You want to talk about it? Unless it’s, like, about some girl drama and it’d be weird for you to ask me for advice or something. As much as I would completely be here for that kind of chisme.”
Another short laugh as I shake my head. “No. Not about a girl.”
But, do I want to talk? Yes. So much. I want to yell about this and scream at the universe. Is Leana who I pictured being the ideal person to let it out with? I don’t know. Leaning toward probably not. It’s not as if we’ve gotten anywhere close to a point where I’m letting her in on all my personal shit. I wouldn’t expect her to come to me if she were in anything close to my shoes.
But I don’t want to go back inside, wishing that I’d taken this chance to be honest with someone. Especially because Pérez’s wisdom only lasts for so long before he’s quoting anime monologues. There might be some benefit to talking it out with someone who I, once, really cared about. And really care about still, just not in the same way.
So, following a deep breath, letting out all the nerves, I tell her.
“I’m bi.”
She looks at me, taking it in and nodding. “Okay.”
“That’s it?Okay?”
“Well, one, and don’t be mad because no one told me, I knew. Or— I at least knew that this probably wasn’tgirldrama.”
“I … How did you know?”
“If I told you that I knew there was something going on between you and Vale, would that make you uncomfortable?”
“How … when did you—”
“He didn’t tell me. Let me put that out there now. He always kept the two of you a secret. But, how did I know that my best friend was dating someone and trying his best not to tell me? How did I realize it was you? The way you two look at each other, how easily he’d pick going to your games over hanging out with me, it wasn’t as difficult as either of y’all assumed.”
“Damn.Okay. Heard.”
“Call it bestie intuition plus knowing what you look like when you’re falling for someone and a little bit of knowing howto read context clues. And seeing how you look when you’vefully fallenfor someone.”
“I get it, I’ve got some tells.”
“Someveryobvious ones,” she adds, smiling at my glare and eye roll. “So, that’s that. But, two, what were you looking for me to tell you? Cool? Congrats? Nice?”
“I don’t know. I think some part of me might’ve thought you’d be a little weirded out since we … had a thing.”
“Hot girls aren’t biphobic, Pineapple. Now, continue.”
“Noted. But, after you ended things between us, Vale and I started hanging out more. And that really quickly became me realizing I felt something for him. Well, not quickly. Quickly in me feeling a type of way about him, and then taking a while for me to let myself feel that way about him. Realizing that maybe it could be okay to feel that way about him.”
“That’s not surprising.”
“I get it, I go from ‘need help with that box?’ to ‘looking for a boyfriend?’ fast,” I say, my hands moving from right to left with the words. “Coming to terms with being bi and all that, it took a little while longer. And some of it I’m still battling with. Not that I hate being bi; I hate that being bi and being an athlete and being Mexican makes my life really hard. As much as I love being all of those things.”
“I can imagine. My dad and my brothers have said some really shitty things when they’re together and think no one is judging them for it.”
