His head perks up and I watch him nod as he tells me, “Of course. Whatever you want. But I also want you to do it for yourself first. I want you to trust them with this piece of you because you want to.”
“I do. I promise,” I say, keeping my eyes on him. “I think— It’ll feel more real having another person know. And I want that. But, also, what if I also wanted to call you my boyfriend?”
Vale’s eyes go wide, his mouth half open, and his hands that had been gently scratching the skin at the back of my neck go still.Shit, did I—
“Really?”
“Should I have not used that word?”
“No,”he says quickly, his mouth going into a smile as he shakes his head. “No. Use that word. But, you’re okay with that?”
“I know that there are going to be times when I can’t call you that. When I have to pretend that I’m not completely obsessed with you. But when I can, I want to be all in. If you’re going to let me hold on to your heart, and I’m giving you mine too, I want all of you. And, when I get the chance, I want to be able to say it out loud, that you’re mine.”
“On one condition,” Vale tells me. “As long as I can use it too, for you.”
My head slowly gets closer to him, my lips touching his, and I take my time kissing him, feeling his mouth on mine. And when I pull away, barely enough for our lips to not be touching, I tell him, “Say it.”
“My boyfriend,” Vale replies before going for another kiss. And then again, he says it, and his lips press to mine. And again, and again.My boyfriend. My boyfriend. My boyfriend.
“My whole heart,” I say back. “My boyfriend. Remember that. So that even in those times when we’ve got to do the whole five-feet-apart thing and I’m having to live some other fake truth or I’m miles apart from you because of an away game, know that, inside, my heart is yours. You’ve got me. I don’t want you to ever forget that you’ve got me.”
“You’ve got me too.”
There’s a peacefulness being at the pitch by myself. It’s a nice night with a cool breeze, the stars are out, and there’s nothing to do but get to work. Ball in hands, I take one step, then a second, making sure my weight’s distributed right, drop the ball, and—keeping my leg straight for the drive—my right foot makes contact, sending it soaring up and forward. I watch as it flies and starts curving down after a short distance, hopefully hitting— “Yes.”
“Right on target,” a voice coming from the stands says, nearly making me trip over my feet from startling me. I look over and see Kat hopping down and walking over to me. “Didn’t realize the boys’ team had training today.”
“We don’t,” I tell them as I make my way over to where the ball landed, right next to one of the small orange flags I set up. “Doesn’t mean there’s no training for me today, though.”
“Is this why you asked me to come out here? So you had a partner?”
“Nah. But if you’re feeling like jumping in, don’t let me stop you. How long were you standing there all creepy, watching me?”
“Long enough to see that dirty attempt you tried right before this one.” They stand only a few yards from the goalpost, arms crossed, watching me jog back. “Can you do a half-volley dropkick?”
“Of course I can.”
“Show me.” They look at the grass and all the flags I’ve set up, pointing to one about halfway across the pitch. “That one, at your ten o’clock. Send it to him.”
Same set up, step, step, but this time, when I drop the ball, it’s perfectly timed; it hits the ground, bouncing back up, and that’s when my foot meets it, just as it’s getting a little air, sending it lower than the last kick, but plenty farther. It hits the flag and Kat does one of those really impressed whistles.
“A huevo, Chivo,” they say, coming up to me for a high five. “Sorry I kept you waiting. How long you been out here?”
“About an hour and a half.” After Vale and I finally left my room, we had lunch and hung out, not doing much of anything until one of his cousins texted him, asking if he could clock in at the shop. I dropped by my parents’ for some dinner and then tried to get through as much homework as I could stand until I was craving the pitch too much to focus.
“Did you have fun last night?” Kat asks, “I didn’t even see you.”
“I—yeah. I had fun.” I walk to the far side of the goalpost, grabbing another ball, tossing it up into the air and watching it spin. “We were there for a couple hours.”
“¿Con Vale, verdad? Y’all went together?”
“Yeah.” I squeeze the ball in my palms, staring at it, taking in the grass stains, the shapes sewn together to make it. And when Kat’s hands come out, I toss it to them. I can tell them. I can trust them. “That’s actually why I wanted to meet up with you. We … Vale and I hooked up last night.”
Their mouth goes big, like a whole-ass capital D on its side.“What?!”they yell. “Wait. What? I—Gabi, what—”
“I’m bi, Kat. And I don’t want you to think I was trying to keep something from you when we talked about this—”
“You don’t have to apologize for something like that, Gabo,” they say, their hand coming up to my shoulder. “Don’t. That’s never something you should feel like youhaveto tell. But I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to say it now.”
