Things were a mess. Dad, or Mr. Fennech as I called him, was really in a bad way. He was angry most of the time and confused for the rest of the time. His confusion usually led to anger, so we always seemed to be at that stage. It didn’t seem fair. I didn’t know this man until recently, and now I would never really have the chance.
Mom had always told me that my dad left when she was pregnant because he didn’t want me. I only found out his name a year ago when Mom discovered through an old colleague that he was so unwell. She’d wanted to care for him herself, but her presence only seemed to infuriate him. Only then had she told me the full story. She’d had a short-lived affair with her boss, and I was the result. He’d given her a generous lump sum and asked her to disappear, not wanting to destroy his marriage with Lorraine. Lorraine knew about the affair but knew nothing of my existence. Apparently, she’d forgive him for the affair, but he knew she’d never forgive a child, so we were cast out. Mom said Lorraine was unable to have children so Colin acknowledging me would have been a knife to the heart.
After Lorraine died of motor neuron disease, Colin’s health had declined. I approached him months later her death when he’d still been lucid most of the time. He acknowledged me and welcomed my help in his home, but said my mother was to stay away. Mom was excited because Colin was apparently a wealthy man, but that wasn’t my motivation. It was interesting to know another blood relative. I had only ever had mom, and while she’d had a steady stream of relationships after Colin, she’d never really settled and never had another child.
I would have loved a happily ever after with a mom and a dad. Like the couple across the road. They seemed so happy. Bear was a kind man, and he was incredibly handsome. The way he caredfor his wife was amazing, but I got the sense they weren’t happy. He spent a lot of time with me and seemed to really care about dad. Every time I asked for help, he was there quickly and was so supportive. He’d put his arm around me and assure me that it would all be okay. His wife was okay, but she was a worker bee. Always busy doing something, even though she was pregnant. If I was having his baby, I’d be at home, cooking, cleaning, and supporting him in every way. We’d be the perfect couple and have a beautiful family together.
It was all going well until Dad’s fall, when he’d unwittingly outed the beginning of our love. Harriet had been furious, and I did understand why, but it was something she was going to have to accept. Deep down, Bear loved me. He wouldn’t have come to my rescue at every opportunity to just be a nice guy. I didn’t see him doing yard work for Leo and Jacqui, even though Leo had a bad back and Jacqui worked crazy hours. He truly cared. I knew he was having conflicting feelings, but break-ups are always hard. I’d just have to give him time. Harriet had left the house that night and only returned yesterday. I guess they’d fight it out for a while before she left for good. I could wait.
Me: Hey Bear, I know you said not to text, but what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t check in on you? xxx
My Bear <3: You’re not a friend. You’re a neighbor and our communication is over. Don’t text again or I’ll block you. The only reason I’m not doing that now is because Colin may need help and Leo may not be home. Take a hint.
Me: Okay, Bear. I know you need time. Just know that I’m thinking of you xxx
My Bear <3: Are you delusional? I don’t need time. If you text back and it’s not about Colin, I’m blocking you. Stay away from Harriet.
Wow, things must be really tense over there. Talk about misdirected anger! I’m not the one who fled from his house.
I’d told Mom all about Bear when Colin was taken to hospital and she told me these things can get rough. She wasn’t impressed that he had a pregnant wife because apparently exes with kids were “money pits,” but when she realized he was a business owner, she said he’d have the funds to have a real family with me and that I’d just have to lift my head high and be a dignified stepmother. I could do that. I loved kids.
I could see why Colin thought Harriet was like Mom. They were very similar builds, and their coloring was the same. I didn’t really look much like Mom at all. My red hair must have come from Colin’s side, who had been blond before he turned gray and lost most of his hair.
“Sally,” Colin growled. “I’m hungry.”
I rushed into the kitchen to prepare him a snack. I really was exhausted, and now that Bear had to pull back temporarily to sort things with his wife, I was doing everything. Colin had a nurse who came and some other home services, but I was the one who dealt with him most of the time. I’d cut back on my work as a retail assistant to be able to help him more, but it was so tiring. The carer’s allowance was good, but I wasn’t cut out for caregiving. I did it to make my dad happy. Mom said he might leave me everything in his will given I was his only child. As much of a bonus as that would be, I wouldn’t count on it. Bear would look after me, especially if Colin left me high and dry.
“Here you go,” I said sweetly to Colin. “Some noodles!”
He grunted and looked at me.
“You’re not Sally.”
“No, I’m Rose, your daughter with Loretta.”
“No, you’re not,” he said simply and began shoveling noodles into his mouth.
Progress with Colin was slow, but I was a patient woman. I did care about him. I’d never had a dad before. I would never do that to my child. I’d make sure his or her dad was involved and that I was in a loving relationship.
I moved to look at the lounge window. Harriet’s car was in the drive, but not Bear’s. Interesting. Maybe he’d left for a while so she could pack in peace. I did feel for her. It was going to be difficult being a single mom. My mom had struggled, and she was a really strong woman. Maybe I could offer to help her? That would be a kind thing to do.
I sighed, returning to check that Colin hadn’t spilt his snack. I was so tired. Hopefully he wouldn’t soil his sheets again tonight. That was one of the most unpleasant things about being here.
Chapter 10. Blake – Good intentions
Mick had welcomed me into his home but made it clear that he wasn’t happy about the reason I was there.
“You’re a fucking idiot. I tried to tell you. Were you stupid, blind, or did you actually like her?” he asked, shaking his head like he was talking to an errant two-year-old.
“Probably the first two, definitely not the last one,” I responded.
What had I been doing? I’d been pondering this for the past week, which had been spent in Mick’s home desperately trying to talk to Haz with no response. I drove past our house every day when I knew she’d be returning from work, just to see her. To see that she was okay. I took the bins in and out and mowed the front lawn, but she hadn’t come out to see me. I had texted her to ask when her next appointment was and she hadn’t responded.
I’d sent flowers three times this week. My heart had dropped when on one of my wellness check drive-bys I’d seen her walking across the road to give them to Jacqui. I’d really fucked up. That was becoming increasingly obvious every day. I didn’t see it as that much of a fuck up, but in the only call I’d had from Sean since that awful day at Colin’s, he obviously did. Mick agreed but was playing the supportive friend well.
My conversation with Sean had not gone well. He’d called me the night Harriet kicked me out.
I answered my phone. “Hey, Sean.” This was not going to go well. I could feel it.
