Page 95 of One Cornish Summer With You
Ruan didn’t know whether to watch her or look away. He thought of taking out his phone and scrolling through it,but that seemed rude. So he looked out of the window at the sunlight on the hills, knowing Kathleen was now hundreds of miles and decades away.
While she read her own letter to Walter, a tear slowly slid down her face. Ruan’s heart sank. What had he done by coming here? Was finding out and telling the truth always the right thing to do? Kathleen had clearly made the right decision to keep his great-uncle unaware of his son’s existence.
‘I feel sad reading what I wrote to him, even if it was the right decision. It grieved me then and still does to have given him – or anyone – pain, but I had to do it.’
‘I know,’ Ruan said gently.
She put her letter to Walter on the table by her side and then picked up Walter’s aborted proposal note to her.
Her hands were steady but her lips were set in a firm line as if she was trying to hold back a dam of emotion. She must have had to hold back so much over the decades.
Finally, she let the proposal note fall into her lap and took off her glasses and wiped away the tears with her sleeve. When she glanced up at Ruan again, there was a profound sadness in her eyes that Ruan shared.
‘He was trying to work up the courage to ask me, then. He did love me.’
‘It seems so … Kathleen, I amsosorry to have intruded into your life and disturbed your peace.’
‘Why did you, then?’ she said sharply. ‘Was it only to give me these letters? You could have kept them to yourself.’
‘Maybe I should, but I couldn’t … deceive you. And Iwanted to know – I hope you might help me find out why he left me the house.’
‘Why would you need to know?’
‘Because I’m not sure I deserve it.’
She frowned. ‘Many folks wouldn’t care. Most would take the money and run and never ask any questions.’
‘I can’t stop asking those questions. For a number of reasons.’ He didn’t want to elaborate and make this about him and Tammy.
She held on to the letter. ‘Did you actually meet Walter?’
‘Only once. He called in on my parents in Bristol. I was only six and I was helping my mum prune the roses. I had this idea. Probably crazy, but …’
‘That’s it then. He saw you taking care of the roses and he decided that he’d leave the place to you. He’d driven everyone else away.’
‘Later on, he was – not very nice to people, especially to a good friend of mine and her family and to my own family.’
‘At the last, he left his house to you. Perhaps to make amends. Or in remembrance of the past.’
‘I can’t help thinking the house should be yours and Robert’s. Or a friend of mine’s.’
She shook her head firmly. ‘No. I forfeited any right to anything of Walter’s when I deprived him of ever knowing his son. For that, I find it hard to forgive myself. Yet you shouldn’t feel a shred of guilt. He must have seen something in you that touched him at the last.’
‘I was afraid he saw something in there that reminded him of himself.’
‘He probably did … so you’re worried he hoped you might turn out like him: cold, bitter and grasping?’
‘I guess so. I’m a solicitor and he must have known that. Before he died, I was doing very well in a big firm as a property lawyer. I had a vague idea he might have heard that and thought I’d take care of his money, so to speak.’
Kathleen shook her head. ‘I think you’re looking at the situation from the wrong angle. If his mind was failing, perhaps he only remembered the little boy he saw helping his mother in the garden as part of a loving home. He saw the child he would have liked to have been.Couldhave been, if he’d been fortunate.’ Now her eyes were full of tears again. Ruan’s own stung.
‘What a waste,’ he murmured. ‘I feel so sorry for him.’
‘So do I, but Walter had plenty of chances to turn his life around. I do feel guilty for not telling him about Robert and for never letting him see his son. It might have changed him, but it might not. Thank you for showing me the letter. I am happy that Walter did love me. That’s something I can treasure, but it doesn’t change my view on my decision to leave.’
‘That’s a relief to me,’ Ruan said.
She patted his hand. ‘Even if he’d proposed, I could never have relied on it and would always have been longing for more affection. He wouldn’t have given Rob the loving upbringing that Frank did, and I’d never have known my other children. It breaks my heart to think they might not have existed. No,’ she said, putting the letter on the trolley, ‘I still stand by my decision. Knowing about the letter mighthave ruined my life. I’m glad I didn’t see it, but I’m happy to know Walter loved me. In his own way.’
