Page 35 of One Cornish Summer With You
Tammy sighed in frustration. ‘You have an answer for everything, Lola, but I’d like to point out I’ve actually only had three vaguely serious relationships in the past ten years, including Sean.’
‘Did you love them?’
‘Love? I – I liked them. A lot. I cried every time when it ended.’
‘Whenyouended it.’
‘When it came to a natural conclusion – apart from Sean. I’ll admit that the idea of forever spooked me.’
‘Forever with him or anyone?’
‘I don’t know … and as you’ve just got divorced, I do think you could cut me some slack on the permanence front.’
‘Hmm. I suppose you have a point, but I was with Vince for six years. Then he had an affair, but things had been going wrong between us for ages. Now I’m glad because I feel like a weight has been lifted off me.’
‘There you are then. Sometimes not being together – sometimes an unhappy ending is the right one.’
‘Maybe, deep down, you’re scared you’ll lose someone again, like your mum and dad – and not on your terms?’ Lola said gently.
‘Shall we end with the tree again?’ Tammy said, already getting into the position. She put her hands together and then raised them above her head, determined to nail it this time. Yet balancing was almost impossible because Lola’s assessment was so accurate, it gave her the shivers.
Lola groaned, and stood on one leg, wobbling. ‘Damn you. You’re only suggesting the tree because you know I’m knackered now. Argh …’ She staggered forward, dissolving into laughter. ‘Is this new self-reflective Tammy anything to do with Ruan?’ she asked, hands on hips.
Tammy ended the pose, pleased to have both feet back on the sand. ‘Maybe. OK, yes. He mentioned something to me last night that spooked me. I do like him, but I don’t know how to apologise or explain the way I feel.’
‘Which is?’
‘That I’m scared of liking him too much and of thinking too far into the future. We’ve only just met.’
‘It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known him. If it feels like he could be the One or someone special, you need to run with that. Have you even tried to explain it to him?’
‘Not yet. I want to take things slowly but then we kissed and he mentioned not wanting things to end between us. It spooked me. I need to tell him he’ll have to match my pace.’
Lola picked up her yoga mat and arched her eyebrows. ‘Let’s hope he has a lot of patience, then.’
After iced coffees in the evening sun outside the Nauti Café, they went their separate ways, Tammy musing on Lola’s comments.
When she walked down the alley to the rear of the Harbour Studio, her nose wrinkled. Davey had hung out in an artists’ commune for a brief time in his youth and it still wasn’t unheard of for him to indulge in the odd joint, even though he thought Tammy didn’t know.
What she did know was that the acrid stench which had reached her nostrils wasn’t weed.
She crept quietly to the end of the alley and suddenly called out loudly, ‘Hellooo!’
Just as she strolled around the corner into the rear yard, Davey was stubbing out the fag with his boot while simultaneously wafting his hand around as if a wasp was attacking him.
‘Well, it’s good to see you can multitask,’ she said with a glare. ‘Thought you said you’d given up.’
‘I have.’ He sank on to an iron garden chair he’d been meaning to restore for the past three years. There was an empty bottle of lager and an open packet of cigarettes on the table.
‘Don’t lie. You packed in the fags years ago. You know how much I hated it. You need to look after yourself.’
‘Quit sounding like my parent. You millennials. You’re just a bunch of tofu-eating, yoga-obsessed young fogeys.’
She laughed. ‘I’d rather be a fogey than a boomer.’ She sat down on the spare chair, enjoying their banter. ‘But why are you smoking again? Are you stressed out by this project? Can I help you out? Or can you ask Breda to lend a hand? I don’t want you to be ill. Neither would Breda.’
‘Neither of you can stop that happening.’
She went cold. ‘What do you mean?’
