Page 32 of Second Chance Summer
‘It wasn’t your fault. I was distracted by the view and not paying attention to the tide.’
‘I should have warned you about the tides. I should have given you a safety briefing or something. Or stayed with you.’
‘Sam – are you going to nursemaid all your guests, all the time? It’s not possible. The best you can do is issue a warning to them.’
‘So you won’t be suing me?’
She scratched her chin. ‘Well, Ididconsider it …’
His face fell so she rolled her eyes.
‘I’m joking! I don’t want any more drama. I don’t want anyone to know what happened. If my family found out, especially Étienne or my parents, they’d freak out.’
‘Étienne?’
‘My late sister’s husband. He’s a doctor and it was he who practically forced me to take a break. He and Richie. They bullied me into it. Frankly, I didn’t want to come at all.’
‘Really?’ The dressing on Sam’s brow twitched. ‘I’d never have guessed. Why were –are– you so dead set against taking a break? Everyone needs downtime.’
If ever there was a time to be honest, this was it. She had to recognise that there was a new bond between them: that Sam had saved her life. That had brought them together and so it was probably unsurprising that she was temporarily attracted to her handsome rescuer.
‘I suppose I see slowing down as a weakness,’ she said.
‘A weakness? How can taking care of yourself be weak?’
‘When you put it like that, it does sound counter-productive, but I’ve never been afraid of hard work. I guess it started when I had my market stall. I absolutely loved running it and every sale gave me a buzz, whether it was for my own stuff or a friend’s. The thought of how happy they’d be when I gave them their share of the takings … It made me happy and I became addicted.’
‘Addicted?’ Sam looked intrigued. ‘That’s a powerful word.’
‘Accurate, though. Once I decided to expand, well,establishing any new business is tough. You need to give it your all and, inevitably, other things in your life suffer. You must know that,’ she said, looking around at the retreat. ‘You did say youneededthis project, remember?’
‘Did I?’ he said, with an air of surprise.
‘Hmm.’
‘Yes, I did. I suppose I’ve also become obsessed, staying here night after night. When the buck stops with you, you’ve no choice but to carry on. There’s no safety net.’
‘Exactly, and––’ Lily hesitated, but realised that she wanted to be honest with him. Perhaps he would understand her need to keep moving, be in constant motion to save herself from dealing with her grief.
‘I need to tell you something. That Nina Simone song. There’s a reason I was so upset. It’s the same reason I find it hard to take a break, the same reason I don’t want my parents to find out how close we came to being in serious danger just now.’ Lily took a pause before she could go on. She still found it difficult to talk about such a painful time in her life, but Sam’s reassuring gaze encouraged her.
‘Please, go on,’ he said gently.
‘My sister Cara – she died two years ago. That was the song her husband played at the funeral.’
Sam groaned softly. ‘I amsosorry. I’d no idea.’
‘How could you?’ she said. ‘Please don’t feel bad. But, you see, since she died, I’ve thrown myself into the business even more. It was easier to keep running at a hundred miles an hour rather than dwell on what I’d – what we’d all – lost. Does that make sense?’
‘Yes. It makes sense to me.’ The timbre of his voice told her that he really did understand. But before she could ask him why, he went on.
‘Do you mind me asking what did happen?’
Lily braced herself. Even now, she hated relaying the details but Sam deserved to know and perhaps it might be cathartic – after what they’d been through, was there any point holding back? Even though it was exhausting telling people what had happened, it was just as exhausting keeping it all inside.
‘It was a car accident. She’d been out with some girlfriends and the road was icy and the car skidded on black ice and hit a tree. It was instant, apparently, which people kept saying was a blessing. I didn’t think of it like that. I still can’t. All I can think of is that I never got the chance to tell her what she meant to me, how much I loved her, how I looked up to her and how absolutely amazing she was …’
Lily looked up from her mug to find Sam listening intently: encouraging her with his steady gaze. ‘She really was perfect. She worked in ICU as a paediatric nurse. She was wonderful with the children. She and Étienne were devoted to each other, yet she still found time to see Mum and Dad, do all the extended family stuff. Whereas I … had no partner, no kids, and only myself to look after yet I couldn’t find the time to be there for an important landmark for my parents.’
