Page 103 of Second Chance Summer
Finally, he turned to look at her, wondering if these magical times were only a blip in the grand scheme of her life.
She sat up and reached for her top. ‘I suppose we ought to go back to the retreat,’ she said regretfully. ‘We’ve an early start tomorrow.’
With a sinking heart, he sat up too and pulled on his T-shirt. ‘We both do.’
Although he’d urged her not to have any regrets, he could not dismiss the niggle in his mind. Had he been a temporary escape, a therapy she’d needed and would soon learn to do without?
On the walk back to the retreat, Lily too was lost in thought and Sam had a feeling that if he said anything, it might provoke an answer he didn’t want to hear. For all the talk about being honest, about seizing the moment, they were both unable to say how they felt.
He because he felt too much.
Lily because she didn’t want to commit herself or didn’t feel the same way? Sam was thrown back into a maelstrom of uncertainty once more. What he’d feared – that he’d fall in love again with a woman who didn’t feel the same way – seemed perilously close to coming true.
At the hub, he stood still. Lily tilted her head skywards and let out a deep sigh. ‘I’ll miss this,’ she said and her voice held genuine regret that heartened him.
Sam saw the stars too. The same ones he could look on every day of his life though they would never shine as bright without Lily by his side. ‘We’re not that far apart, you know,’ he said, though fearing she might as well be light years away. ‘You can come back any time you like. You’ll always be welcome at Hell Bay House.’ In his bed, in hislife, he ached to add.
‘I know.’ She looked at him. ‘Of course I’ll keep in touch.’ She smiled. ‘I’ll have to come and see the place when it’s finished for one thing.’
And for another?
She left the phrase hanging like a loose thread. ‘I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Sam, and thank you.’ She kissed him and added, ‘For everything.’
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
‘Morning.’
Lily walked in on Sam as he was placing a basket of pastries on the table. He stiffened the moment he saw her.
‘Morning.’ He managed a quick smile. ‘Coffee?’
‘Thanks. Let me help.’
‘It’s your last morning. I’ll do it. You won’t have someone to wait on you after this.’
‘No. That’s true.’ Lily slid into a chair, selecting a pain au chocolat from the basket. She ought to wait for the others but she wanted something, anything, to distract her from looking at him. To think that last night they’d been naked together and had made love on the beach. To think that she had almost told him she was in love with him.
She broke a piece off the pastry and nibbled at it though it was dry in her throat. Despite the previous evening’s activity, her appetite was almost non-existent. Was it too big a risk to tell him she was in love with him after just a couple of weeks? She’d never made such a rash and risky decision in her life before, but love hadn’t played by the rules: it had borne her on like a wave, lifted her up and down, swept her along in its path. She’d decided to let go of the helm of herbusiness, to take time for herself, spend more of it with her family … but loving Sam?
That was totally out of her control and it terrified her.
He returned with a cafetière and a jug of orange juice. The smile on his face was strained. ‘Would Étienne prefer tea? Or is that a stupid question?’
‘I think you know the answer,’ Lily said with a forced smile of her own.
He put the cafetière and jug down next to her. She caught his hand before he could move away.
‘Sam.’
He looked up sharply.
‘Last night … was wonderful and Iwillkeep in touch.’
The conversation was terminated by the arrival of two mini whirlwinds, with their father close behind.
Sam withdrew his fingers. ‘I have to get the rest of the breakfast.’
‘Hellooooooo!’ the girls said and ran up to the table. Tania started trying to pour the juice.
