She shrugs. ‘Just trying to help.’
‘I KNOW YOU’RE TRYING TO HELP,’ I yell at her, too hot to keep my voice down. ‘BUT HELP OF THIS KIND IS ACTUALLY KIND OF UNHELPFUL, ISN’T IT? WE ALL KNOW THAT ZIPS GET STUCK, WE ALL KNOW HOW ZIPS ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK AND WE ALL KNOW STUPID BITS OF FABRIC CAN BREAK THEM VERY EASILY. HONESTLY, IT’S SO WEIRD THAT WE’VE INVENTED DRONES AND NUCLEAR WEAPONS BUT WE HAVEN’T FIGURED OUT SOMETHING BETTER THAN ZIPS THAT BREAK THIS EASILY—’
‘Um, guys?’ A sleepy-eyed Alex has opened the door. ‘Why are you shouting about zips on my doorstep?’
‘BECAUSE I’M HOT, ALEX!’ I stop short when I realize she is actually here, in front of me. A person I came to say sorry to – who I am now shouting at.
‘They came up with Velcro,’ Louise mutters from behind me.
‘Sorry,’ I lower my voice, giving up on the coat. ‘I’m sorry for waking you up and’ – I burst into tears right there on her doorstep in my hot coat, half pulled off – ‘I’m really sorry about everything, Shelley.’
She steps outside, gathering me up into her arms and hugging me close.
‘I’ve been such a dick,’ I sob into her shoulder, my eyes pressed shut. I suddenly feel another set of arms close around me. I don’t need to open my eyes to know who it is – I can smell Bibi’s perfume.
‘Sorry, Bibi,’ I wail, enclosed by arms and bodies. I’m hotter than ever but I couldn’t care less.
‘I’m sorry, too,’ she wails back with emotion I’ve never really heard from Bibi before. ‘I’msosorry. I feel so terrible about everything. I wanted to say that right away but I couldn’t get the words out.’
‘Youfeel terrible?!’ I sob. ‘Ifeel terrible! It’s all my fault. You did nothing wrong. I made it all about me when it wasn’t anything to do with me.’ I draw back slightly so I can look at them both. We’re all tear-stained and red-faced, despite the cold night air. ‘It should’ve been about you two! I should’ve listened to you guys and been excited for you. I hate that you felt you had to hide it from me! But that’s down to me, I know, because you knew how badly I’d react! I didn’t give you the space to tell me or reason to trust me with your secret. I’m so ashamed of myself.’
‘We shouldn’t have hidden it!’ Alex cries. ‘We were just so shocked when it happened between us. It was so unexpected, but’ – shame crosses her face – ‘also so amazing. And then I think we just wanted to make sure it was real before we made a big thing of it and risked upsetting everyone.’ She looks at Bibi with an expression I never saw when we were together. ‘Itisreal, right, Beeb? And,’ her old Aussie nature leaks out and she grins as she adds, ‘it’s alsounreal.’
Bibi nods, smiling this ethereal smile. She tries to look back at me but can barely drag her eyes away from Alex’s visage. ‘It’s absolutely the real and unreal deal.’ She beams,finally turning back to me. ‘It’s so real, Esther. We wouldn’t have done this to you if it wasn’t.’
‘You haven’t done anythingtome.’ I sniff loudly. ‘I shouldn’t have made any of this about me. It’s about you guys. And I’m really, honestly so happy for you both.’
‘SHUT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK UP,’ someone screams from the window of a neighbouring house. ‘IT IS TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING.’
We snigger and then all start crying again when Louise throws her arms around the group.
‘I’m so glad we’re all friends again,’ she murmurs, cuddling us hard. ‘I wish you’d all stop falling out with each other.’
‘I’M CALLING THE FUCKING POLICE,’ the neighbour yells.
‘We should probably go in…’ Inside the four-way hug, Alex looks worried.
‘Yes, everyone come in!’ Bibi sounds exuberant as she lets go, and I notice for the first time that she’s in her pyjamas. They’re really a couple. ‘I need to hear about everything I’ve missed. You need to fill me in! What’s happening with the mission?!’
She doesn’t wait for an answer before herding us all inside. Louise and I have just a half second to glance over at one another. There’s so much to tell her, I don’t even know where to begin.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
‘Guess what!’ I settle into Alex’s big corner sofa, eyeballing Bibi. ‘Louiseisn’tcheating on Sven!’
Bibi sits up straight, looking fascinated. ‘She’s not?’ She turns to Lou, who looks affronted. ‘I thought for sure you were!’
‘No,’ I shake my head delightedly. ‘She’s just having great sex with her boyfriend!’
‘With Sven?’ Alex looks interested. ‘I thought it was rubbish, Lou?’
‘It was,’ she says defensively. ‘But now it’s not.’
‘What the fuck!’ Bibi shouts with shock and delight.
Lou huffs. ‘See, this is exactly why I took ages to talk to you guys about it, because I knew I’d get the piss taken. It’s not easy to try something new, you know? I’m basically super brave.’
Bibi and I laugh, united in our teasing of Louise once again. ‘No, you actually really are,’ I say sincerely. ‘And I’m so happy for you two, Lou. It’s brilliant. You and Sven deserve all the happiness in the world. He’s a good bloke.’
