My lips part on a gasp and his tongue slips inside my mouth, caressing my own. My hands leave the wall, fisting his shirt and pulling him closer. He makes me feel possessed and wanted because he'slosing control.For me.This man whois socontrolled in everyaspect ofhis life,so calmand collected.
His hands slip from my face and he grips my arse, yanking me hard against him, against the firmness of his crotch.Just as quicklyas it starts, it stops. He pulls back and we stare at each other, both breathing heavily.My lipstinglewith the taste of him: cherryandsmoke.
"I, uh..." I swallow and reach behind me, feeling for the door knob. "I should um, go. I should go."
He stares at me. My heart is pounding and I can't read his expression. I find the knob and twist, pulling the door open and slipping out without another word.
Whydo I have to make things socomplicatedfor myself?
* * *
Iwalk backinto my apartment andSilas is sitting on the sofa, his elbows resting on his knees as he leans forward, focusing on the TV. His eyes flick to me. He must sense that something has shifted. I don't even know what, but it has.
"Youneed togo,"Isay.
Hefrowns,pushestohis feet,and crosses the room."Hope.."
Ishake myhead. "This will neverwork." I look up at him."Ican never forgiveyou.Ican'tforget."He takes a step closer and I can see the determination on his face.
Mytempersnaps.Finally."Fuck,Silas.Just fucking go!I don't love you anymore."The words shock bothofus,but what'seven more surprising isthat Ithink they might be true.I'm inlovewiththememoryof what we once had. I'msadat the loss of it,butI don'tloveSilas.
Hecloses the spacebetween usandIshuffle backwards.He stops,hisbrowfurrowing in frustration.Iexpecta big argumentbut instead, he simply turns andscoops up his bag, hookingit over his shoulderbeforehe leavesthe apartment.The door bangs shut behind him with a heavy finality.Irelease alongbreath and sit down on thesofa.My heart is racing andmy hands tremble, but he'sgone.Silas is outof my life againandI wonder if it's for goodthis time?
