Brina and Autumn, man. Some time between me having a seizure on stage and waking up in the hospital they told my bros about my mama and Raya. Everyone agreed I needed to see someone and talk. Niggas confiscated all my computer stations they know about, all twelve of them. I’m lucky to still have my fucking phone.
I’m twenty-six. What the fuck is going on?
But it’s coming from a good place. They care. So I’ll be here an hour a day, every other day.
Doesn’t mean I have to talk.
I don’t need no fucking shrink.
Age 11
“Why you always got that laptop, Baby Set?”
We’re in the Center, soaking up the AC since it’s hot as hell. It’s more than a few boys who hang around my big brother, but today it’s Fredo, Turk, and Sean sitting on the bleachers with us. Ty, Rico, and Peanut are playing a game on the court with some of the older BBs.
I’ve been coming to my pop’s house for a couple months, and things areverydifferent here than in Hudsonville.
For one, everyone I know here, including my brother Casey, is a gang member.
Even Sean, who’s a year younger than me.
Most of them sell drugs, too. Sometimes I have to go with them. Sometimes I get shuffled between Casey’s friends so I’m not out with them. Sometimes Peanut will take me with him to go stalk some girl he met from his old school, Tati. She seems nice, if we’d ever actually go up to her.
Everyone else is nice, though. Nice enough, at least. I guess beating up some of the top members of their gang made an impression on them.
But they don’t like Sincere, at all. He’s not outside today. His grandmother doesn’t really let him come outside, so we just have sleepovers when Casey has to do something and doesn’twanna take me. I don’t get mad, though. Sometimes he comes back with blood on him, and after throwing up all over him, he and I both agreed my tummy isn’t made for whatever the family business is.
“My bro a computer genius, like that one nigga in that cartoon. He be coding and shit.” Casey’s the coolest dude I know. Way cooler than the niggas at my school. And he never makes me feel lame for doing my homework or being on my computer. He even stole a coding book for me when I complained about the price.
Sean’s head appears over my shoulder. “He not coding, though. This shit looks like some DJing shit. You a DJ, Baby Set?”
I turn and find Sean grinning at me. He knows exactly what I’m doing, because we’d been playing around with this new software all night when we stayed at Sincere’s. He just wants to show off.
I do, too.
“I downloaded this app calledImaginaryDJand I’ve been playing with some songs. Y’all wanna listen?”
I look around, and they’re all interested, but it’s Fredo who answers. “Let’s hear it.”
He and his twin Rico are older, Peanut’s age. But he’s probably the nicest out of the three of them. He and Rico are identical, even down to the long curly hair. Rico usually keeps two cornrows, while Fredo wears his down or in two braids like Snoop Dogg. Fredo’s usually always with Turk, while Rico is usually always with Ty and Reem. Those are the only differences I can tell.
I start playing the instrumental toPretty Boy Swagand Sean hops up and starts dancing.
When his verse comes on, Turk lights up before mushing him. “Yo lil ass… this shit fire,” he says when I end the song.
Sean cheeses. “That’s not all though. Play them yo beat, Baby Set!”
I hesitate just a little before clicking the beat I’ve been working on. I sampledPretty Boy Swagbut I slowed it down and added some reverb.
“Okay, Baby Set. I see you fasho,” Fredo says.
“Shaddy Shad a jack of all trades. You know these niggas be tryna rap they way out the trap. Lemme see what else you got, and next weekend you can see if they fucking with it.”
“Save this one for me, though. I’m already working on my verses. What y’all think of Yung Beezy?” Sean poses, making us all laugh at his dumb ass. But when I look back at Casey, he gestures toward my laptop, so I start showing him more beats.
Peanut takes me back home later that day. The kitchen smells so good, but the voices I hear coming from the back make me keep going.
The back porch is cracked, and Granddad’s pissed. As usual.
