Set sets his piece on the stool before throwing a left hook straight into his cheek.
“Set!”
He doesn’t hear me, though. He just starts mollywhopping Sincere. That nigga’s crying, yelling for Set to stop, but he just keeping throwing his fists. He doesn’t speak. He doesn’t smirk or even scowl.
I let him get some hits in because Sin deserves it, but when Set straightens and peers at me, I know that was a mistake.
He turns to Sincere, kicking him twice in his stomach to make sure he stays down, before grabbing his gun and rushing toward me.
I turn toward him and don’t flinch when he pushes the barrel into my forehead.
“You knew?” he rasps.
I nod once, and his hand drops, like his gun is all of a sudden too heavy. Hurt spreads over his face as his eyes turn glassy.
“Damn.” He blinks once, and a tear drops halfway down his cheek before he turns his back to me and walks out.
I curse under my breath and follow him out into the hallway. When I call his name, he turns around to me. All previous emotion is gone. He sheathes his piece and rubs his waves.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him about B’s miscarriage. About how Sincere is the only reason why she’s still hanging, and that’s the only reason why I haven’t stepped in. It’s on the tip of my tongue to remind him how he just,justgot to a better place. But I can’t seem to get any words out.
Set just nods. “Never thought I’d see the day you’d choose up on yo brother. But we not really brothers, huh?”
His words feel like bullets piercing my heart.
“And seeing who yo punk ass daddy is, I shouldn’t be surprised. You dead to me.” Set turns and walks out of the studio, and out of my life.
Present
I can’t stop my leg from shaking. I woke up this morning knowing it was going to be a bad day. I still have those sometimes. The antidepressants just help them not seem so world ending, but I still have bad days. Days where I wake up knowing most of my family is gone, and I can’t call my best friend. And I know it doesn’t help that today is my group session.
Set, Brina, and Nut all sit on the bigger couch against the wall in Dr. Bell’s office. Brina tries to give me a reassuring smile, but she’s just as nervous as they are.
Nut’s scowling at me. “Why you summon us to yo session, Shad? These supposed to be private.”
“Rahshad has some things he needs to get off his chest. Now, you three are who he considers to be his support system, and as such, he requests you keep an open mind and really listen to him.” Dr. Bell’s voice is soothing as she commands the room, and I actually see Nut melt into the couch.
Dr. Bell nods to me, and I clear my throat, before looking at Set.
Then Brina.
Finally, Nut.
“After my twenty-first birthday dinner, when Set went ghost… you told me I had to choose between you all and my family.”
“That’s not–”
“It is, P,” Brina interrupts him. She looks at me, sympathy swimming in her eyes. “We did. And you chose us.”
“This ain’t something we should be speaking about in mixed company,” Nut grits, glancing at Dr. Bell before glaring at me.
Dr. Bell chuckles. “Before I was Dr. Bell, I was Lady Deuce from Renny Block Crips. It’s not much you can tell me that I haven’t heard, seen, or experienced.”
Brina coughs to cover her laugh, while Set smirks at the good doctor.
“Go ahead, Rahshad.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, focusing back on Nut, who folds his arms. “What I said still goes; I’ll always choose Foe Dub, even knowing none of my family is alive now. You’re my brothers, and my sis. And I know how much pain my family caused you, all of you… shit, me too. You guys have always tried to protect me more than anything, especially from them… but I think you forget they’re my family, too. And they’re dead. Everyone’s dead.” My voice cracks and I push my thumb and index finger into my eyes to try to relieve the pressure.
