“Never that,” he replies, pulling me closer to him before standing us up. “We gone head out, though. Y’all don’t stay up too late.”
Wayne waves him off and grabs another slice of room temperature pizza. Nat stands to walk us out, hugging me again at the door. This time I’m ready for it, hugging her back.
“You’ll come to the next one, right? We need your opinions onFreddy Vs. Jason.” Her green eyes implore me, and I know for sure she’s used to getting her way.
I look to Shaddy, whose eyes are already on me. He blinks slowly, before nodding and shifting his gaze to Nat. “She’s here to stay.”
Nat’s smile could light up the city, and Chase gently pulls her back into the house. He daps Shad up, before giving me a side hug. “Take care of my boy.”
I wrap my arm around Shad’s trim waist and wink. “I got him.”
The silence between us is comfortable until we get back home. Once again he makes no move to get out, so I stay put. I’m learning it takes awhile for him to get his thoughts in order. Whether it’s a fear of messing up, or truly being confused, remains to be seen.
Finally, he turns toward me, face unreadable under the motion sensor light.
“I wanna be all in witchu, Mace. I need to know once I’m done tying up loose ends, that you’ll be mine.”
I lick my lips and rub my palms on my thighs again. “Shaddy–”
“You said I don’t let you in. I-I’m trying, Mace. That’s why I brought you around my homies. Yeah you know my brothers,but you don't know me outside of Foe Dub, so I wanted to show you.”
“And I had a great time. Your friends are funny as hell… but Shad, I don’t know you inside of Foe Dub, either. You think you’re telling me and showing me things about you, but it’s all fluff. And it’s not just me… you’re hiding from everyone. Hiding in plain sight.”
I grab his hands and bring them over to me, rubbing my thumbs across the backs of them. He focuses on the motion, jaw clenched so tight I know he’s about to crack a molar.
“You’re not protecting anyone. You’re pushing everyone away. Thank you for letting me see parts of you tonight. Seeing you so carefree made my heart full. But if we’re gonna be anything, you can’t only let me see the good. Trust me enough to show me the bad. Let me decide what I can and cannot handle, and trust me–and your family enough to help you carry the weight on your shoulders.”
He squeezes my hands before bringing them up to his mouth, kissing my knuckles. “Ima try,” he whispers into them. He discreetly wipes his face before hopping out, and I collapse onto the seat. Somehow, I feel like he just took ten steps back.
Shad
Age 23
Irubmytemplestrying to get some of this tension out. This nigga Sincere, man… I already rewrote his weak ass lyrics, and showed them how to rap them, and he’s still not doing it right.
The rest of the guys already went out. We were supposed to have been done, but he just had to dip out earlier and go see Brina.
He thinks I don’t know that she’s his new girlfriend, and for the sake of plausible deniability, I let him believe that. Seeing Set sob and ramble about Brina never coming back still haunts me, and I’d rather not be an accessory to a massacre.
“Bro. What’s the issue?” I speak into the intercom.
Sincere scoffs. “The problem is these wack ass raps you wrote. It’s just not hitting. I’m the rapper, nigga, and respectfully, you should stick to producing.”
I stand slowly, making sure all the words he just said digest correctly. “What you say?”
Sincere sighs and scratches his arm. “My bad, Shad. It’s just, Ineedthis. This my last shot, and it’s not sticking.”
He sits back on the stool in the booth, looking like his dog died.
But I don’t have much sympathy. Not anymore. Sean was on him about perpetrating, and he didn’t listen. He thought muthafuckas would stall him off the strength of him and me, and he thought wrong.
That viral video of his chain getting snatched by some BBs is still making its rounds months later. He expected me to do something, but just like him, I’m not a BB. Foe Dub, yeah, but I ain’t a project baby. And instead of keeping his nose down and doing Set’s bidding, he upped and took his girl.
His rep should be the least of his worries.
“Look–”
The door bursts open, interrupting me. Set barrels in, pulling his piece out as he rips open the door to the booth. Sincere shoots up, backing into a wall.
