"I hate to credit that little dick car-driving asshole but, I have seen more positive change in you in the short time since you met him than I have in all the time that I've known you.I've failed you."
I attempt to cut her off because there's no way that she has failed me, but she stops me, holding up her hand and saying, "Just let me finish.I failed you because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable.I don't understand what you go through, and I've always felt like there's more to it than just social anxiety, so I said nothing when you did the same things day after day.I didn't encourage you to step out and try new things.I should've.I will.I love you, Eve."
She's never failed me, and I know learning about Nathan's deception really kicked her in the gut because she was already feeling undeserved guilt."You've never failed me, V.You have been my light in an otherwise dim world.You and Eli are my family and I'm so thankful for your immediate and unconditional acceptance.You two have been the sunshine on my bad weather days and I love you, V."
We hug and sniffle for a while before we pull ourselves together and head to meet the others at the airport.When we check the incoming flights, we see that Eli's plane is expected to land 15 minutes early, so we run from the parking lot.Vaughn is desperately choking back laughter and making the necessary calls to make sure everyone makes it in time.Apparently, I look pretty comical while running in my Tyrannosaurus Rex costume.
We're waiting at baggage claim with our signs and wearing our costumes when we see him.Eli.The teddy bear with a deadly undercurrent, Eli.
He's a big man.At least 6'3, but that's not what you notice first.He's broad.Like Mack Truck broad.He has these shoulders that suggest he's spent every day of his life towing trucks with his bare hands.He wears his dark blonde hair at nearly shoulder length and pulls it back.He's covered in tattoos and that would all be pretty intimidating if it weren't for that beautiful, lovable smile that's a permanent fixture on his handsome face.We all hold up our signs once we see him come down the walkway.He's laughing so hard that his knees buckle.He covers his face and picks up his pace.
Vaughn lowers her sign and their eyes meet.Eli's face becomes serious, and tears are running down Vaughn's cheeks.They both run toward one another.When they meet, she jumps into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and clinging tightly to him.He stands there holding her with his face buried in her hair.The rest of us stay back, giving them this moment.They haven't touched in two months.They didn't even speak on the phone every day.Their conversations were limited in some areas that he traveled through so he just called when he could.I hope this was one of his last trips if not the last trip.They deserve happiness.They deserve to be together.
They finally break apart and get over to us.Eli gives hugs all around and, when he finally gets to me, he wraps me up Big Bear style and lifts my feet off the ground.
"Missed you, Evie Bear."
"I missed you, Big Bear."
He ruffles my hair beneath the costume, and V smacks him in the back of his head.
"That took me nearly half an hour!Do you see the person under that costume?It's hair and makeup are perfect."
Eli just laughs scooping her back up and kissing her like no one is watching.
...................
Dinner is wonderful.The food is delicious, and everyone is so happy to have Eli home.It's impossible to not love this man.Everyone is laughing and joking and sharing food.I sit beside Vaughn so Eli's mom can be next to him, but I feel the distance.I can't imagine how Vaughn must be feeling because I just want to soak him up and never stop hugging him.I think he has this effect on everyone.
We arrive at the bar nearly 45 minutes later than we had planned, but Vaughn called ahead and prepared everyone so they're ready with a raucous "Welcome Home" when he comes through the door.
We reserved the whole place for the night, and it's filled with all of Eli's closest friends and family.The bar rental was my less sentimental welcome home gift for my dear friend.We decorated this morning and V sent out reminder texts to everyone who RSVP'd.There are far more people here than I anticipated though and my heart picks up a little bit when I see the crowd.As though he could hear my blood pumping faster, Eli turns to me with a 'you okay?'head nod.I give him a reassuring smile and a wink.He gives me that big grin and winks back with pride in his eyes.I don't want to let him down.I can do this.
Even more people show up as the night wanes on.Too many people.My palms are sweating, and my heart has been racing since I got here.I've decided to break down and take my medication.It's not a panic attack, but I don't want it to turn into one either, so I go to the bathroom where no one will notice me taking it.When I come back to my table, there are three partygoers that I've never met sitting there.I consider going somewhere else, but every other table is even more full, so I steel my spine and walk over.
They all greet me when I get to the table.
"Would you like to sit?"
"Y-yes, thank you."
"Sure."
Midnight Cowboy has a wood and leather vibe.Very Eli.A chair is pulled out for me, and I sit.The girl beside me goes through the polite introductions for everyone at the table and I eke out "Eve" with an awkward smile.They look at one another and I know they noticed.I'm different.I'm weird.I put people on edge.That's what puts me on edge.It's like their fear heightens my own.I have to be ready for their reaction.I don't know these people.What's keeping them from banding together, deciding I don't belong and doing something about it?Stop it, stop it, stop it.It isn't even real.
I look around the bar as my breaths come quickly and my hands start to tremble.The guy directly across from me reaches for me and I dart my hand forward to respond to his attack but, he’s only reaching for his drink, and I knock my water over with my jerky movements.The water quickly spreads across the table, and everyone jumps up looking at me with shock, anger, hostile intent, I don’t know what.I look from each one of the three to the other, quickly attempting to gauge what their reaction will be.Will they attack?
No.They aren’t attacking.They’re...confused.There’s no hostility.It’s...sympathy.For me.They feel bad for me because I am obviously out of place here.
“I-I am so sorry.I have to go.”
I turn and walk toward the exit.They try to speak to me before I exit, but I can’t make out what they’re saying over the thrum of blood rushing in my head.Bursting through the exit, I feel the cool crisp air of the night.It burns my lungs like I've been doing calisthenics for the past hour.I lean against the rough brick wall, close my eyes, and place both fists to my chest in an attempt to control my breathing.
"It's okay.I'm okay.This is just bad weather.There will be sunshine," I tell myself quietly under the yellow light of the streetlamps.Eventually, I feel my heartbeat calm.My breaths are deeper.My head clearing.My hands are more steady.I'm doing it.My nightmare just came true in there and I am over here surviving it.What was that saying?They can't eat you?Well, they can't.And they didn't.It's just bad weather and the sun will shine on me tomorrow.
Should I go back in?Easy there, Jackie Chan.We survived this stunt.Let's call it a win and live to scale a building another day.I pull out my phone to text V and Eli in our group message.
Me: I'm wiped.I'm going to stay at Eden House tonight so you guys can have some privacy.
