“Great.” He looked relaxed. Would he look like that after being thoroughly debauched? Seriously? Get a hold of yourself, man.
I had to get out of there, out of the house. Needed space. I couldn’t think or act normal with him looking like that. I popped up from the couch to go change. “I’m gonna go to the gym.”
His eyebrows pushed together, but he didn’t question me. It wasn’t unheard of for me to go to the gym on Saturdays, but I usually got it out of the way when Hudson was in class so we had more time to hang out.
Ledgie barely spared me a glance as she lazily strolled down the hallway like she was coming from a morning nap in Hudson’s room. Tricky little cat. I winked at her before escaping to the gym. If only I could leave my thoughts at home and escape them for a little while too.
CHAPTER 6
HUDSON
I finished my list of Saturday chores and even a few of Leo’s off the chore chart since I was in a generous mood. Realistically, I’d known the new chore chart wouldn’t work for him, but watching his look of abject horror had been worth the Amazon splurge.
I stretched out on the chaise part of our L-shaped IKEA couch and scratched General Ledger’s ears as she snoozed. With the chores done, I could relax for a while, but it was hard to define what relaxing was anymore. Living with Leo had shifted what it meant for me. Whether it was taking turns picking a show to watch, him attempting to teach me how to play his old Nintendo games, or me trying to get him to pay attention long enough to absorb the rules of a new board game—I had a good time. More than I used to have sitting alone and reading.
I’d thought after a few hours of working with clay and tidying the house, I would’ve shaken off the lingering confusion from last night. I couldn’t stop wondering if I’d felt those things for a while. Leo wasn’t the first guy I’d been teased about being too close to, but I’d always brushed it off as some weird, macho flavor of homophobia. I knew that wasn’t the case with Ollie and his teasing.
Ollie was the kind of guy who was in love with love. I wanted to dismiss the whole thing as Ollie looking for signs of love where there weren’t any, but since he wasn’t the first to point out my closeness with a man…
I knew several people who identified as bisexual, but from what I knew, they’d had an idea that they were bi earlier in their lives. I’d never stopped to contemplate bisexuality, but Ollie had told us a story last night about a friend’s mid-life bi-awakening, and the idea lingered.
As I contemplated bisexuality, I realized I’d assumed there would be a somewhat even attraction to genders. Google quickly told me how wrong I was. Google also opened me up to the world of pansexuality. I wasn’t sure I wanted a label, but it comforted me to know some people liked the person more than the gender. That I might fit that too.
I wanted to talk it out with someone, but the person I felt safe going to was the one person I couldn’t. If I tried to talk to Leo about it, he would ask what had brought it on, and I couldn’t exactly tell him I might have a crush on him. But hey, please ignore that for a moment so I can talk to my best friend.
The thing was, he would let me. Leo would do anything for me, and I was so lucky to have such a great friend. That made it even more important to not do anything to risk not only our friendship but our living situation and being teammates.
General Ledger rolled onto her back and assumed the rub my belly, you peon position. While running my fingers through her soft fur, I got an idea. Ollie was the one who’d caused this mess, and he’d always been easy to talk to.
Hudson: I can’t believe we lost to the librarians again. They’re going to be brutal with their awful puns next time we play them.
Ollie: I’m still traumatized by their DIY “We must be banned books because we’re on fire” shirts from when they won last year.
Hudson: Oh goodness, I’d forgotten about that one. [facepalm emoji]
Ollie: Oh goodness indeed.
Hudson: Knock it off.
Ollie: But your aversion to cursing is so adorable.
I tried to find a way to ask Ollie one of the million questions pinging around my skull. You know what else is adorable? How grumpy Leo is before he’s had coffee. If I think he’s adorable, does that make me not straight?
Ollie: Sorry if I laid it on a bit thick last night, giving you and Leo a hard time.
I let out a grateful breath that Ollie had started the conversation. Maybe he was more an intuitive friend and less a meddling butthead.
Hudson: No worries. You’re not the first one to tease us.
Ollie: Cool. I just didn’t want to make you feel weird. Trust me, I know that just because two guys get along doesn’t mean they have the hots for each other. If that were the case, I wouldn’t be single right now.
Hudson: Does it seem like Leo and I actually…? I don’t know.
Ollie: Like each other? Have a thing going on? Want to play with each other’s pins and balls?
Hudson: Ollie!
Ollie: [grin emoji]
