“What made you change your mind?” I asked.
“My eyes were about ready to pop. I showered and had to get out before going crazy,” he said. “There’s a case to be made about a work-life balance. Or study-life balance.”
“If life is what you want, I can totally show you a good time,” I said and wondered if this was accidental flirting or a friendly offer.
I watched Shane’s emerging blush and looked at the girl and the guy behind him. The guy glanced at us and took a measure of me. And I mean ameasure. So they weren’t a couple at all.
The girl must have followed the guy’s gaze because she turned to look. Our gazes locked, and I dialed up the intensity of my charming look back at her. We held eye contact for a heartbeat or two before she looked away.
“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Shane asked.
“Is this an interview?” I teased, then gestured at a table.
We moved over, and I picked a seat with a clear view of the bar. The girl’s gaze followed me, but I acted cool and uninterested. “Just chatting,” he replied.
“I think so. The drills went well, right? We have a good chance,” I said, getting comfortable in the booth. “The Titans that had been kicking our asses the last two years are gone. That Partridge was a helluva player.”
“Was?” Shane asked.
“In their team, I mean,” I said. Beckett Partridge had gone on to build a shiny career right after graduating, just like his boyfriend, playing for the NHL. I’d sometimes let myself imagine joining the team he was on and telling him how much I had hated him back in college. He seemed like a cool guy when he wasn’t beating your ass on the ice. “Avery, Sebastian, Jordan, the whole lot of them are gone now.”
“Doesn’t that just mean the bar is lower?” Shane asked.
I shot him a murderous glare. “If you wanna be a dick about it, yeah.”
He laughed.
“I see how it sounds like that,” I said with a shrug. “I think we’re better this year.”
Shane nodded. “I think so, too.”
I cocked my head. “Have you watched us play before?”
He nodded again, a little more shyly.
“Tell me,” I said. “Sports psychology is a very specific choice.” My eyes narrowed. “You were an athlete, Shane. I saw your trophies.”
He snorted. “Junior Hockey. It was nothing.”
“Nah, it was something,” I pressed. The beer’s encouragement canceled the discouragement I got from Shane’s wary look. “You know everything about me.”
He lifted an eyebrow in challenge.Everything?it asked. But he sighed and shook his head. “I played. I was going to be you. Well, more awkward and not as good, obviously, but I used to daydream about having what you have. Until…” He hesitated a moment, just enough to make me wonder if I was cruelfor asking. “Until I got hard checked in a really bad way. An accident. But it nearly broke my knee, tore my ligaments, had to have surgery, and spent a year recovering.”
“Oh, God, Shane, I’m sorry,” I said.
“No, don’t…don’t pity me,” he said. “It was a tough year. You’d be right to pity that kid because he just couldn’t accept how his life changed. But me? I’m fine. I learned I’d never be, um, popular or famous or rich or even just good at it.”
My heart sank a little. “Fuck. We don’t have to talk about it if it’s hard.”
“It’s not hard,” Shane said. “Not with you. I don’t know why I never mentioned it. I guess I didn’t want you to know that I’ll never be able to be more like you. It’s silly.”
“You don’t have to be like me,” I said. I was pretty sure I knew what he meant. “I like you because you’re different.”
Shane smiled and looked away, and then the smile faded. He must have had a fleeting thought, just like me, and he must have remembered that this was never going to work out.
We finished our drinks, and I went to the restroom. As I stepped out, I realized I wanted to stay with Shane. A bed awaited us in the house, and I just wasn’t ready to face a night of sleeping next to him. Not yet, anyway.
I headed for the bar without looking at Shane. I was afraid he would catch my gaze and signal that he wanted to leave. If I returned with drinks, he’d have to stay.
