“Everyone’s sharing,” Patrick said and dropped his heavy bag by the side of the bed. “I’ll take this side if you don’t mind. I like to face the door. Makes it hard to sneak up on me from behind.”
I listened to his rambling, but my mind was elsewhere. Christ, this was bad. Sure, we’d gone far beyond the acceptable lines in the locker room, but sharing a bed with Patrick was a sort of torture only a cruel old god would have come with. It felt like stepping into the Old Testament, and I’d just mixed fabrics.
Eternal damnation, here I come.
“Aren’t you with…Elio or someone?” I asked.
“And let you end up with someone you don’t know?” Patrick asked with a small frown.
“So…you did this on purpose?” I asked.
He snort-chuckled. “Why are we talking about this? I thought I was being noble.”
“No, I mean…” I shrugged. “I’m just surprised.” I swallowed again, harder this time, and nodded. “Thanks.”
He grinned again, unpacking. “We can stay up after bedtime, put on our pajamas, and tell spooky stories in the dark.”
I forced a laugh that so clearly begged the universe to wake me up from this fever dream, but nothing happened. I could pinch my arm off, and I’d still be here, doomed to spend two nights in Patrick’s bed. Doomed to feel his warmth for excruciating hours of the night when he would sleep and kick and snore, and I would listen to his breaths and remain aware of just how close he was to me.
There wasn’t a mattress big enough to make this any easier.
TEN
PATRICK
I keptmy cool until ten in the evening, when most of my guys had split from the bar and only a handful remained, sipping from their nearly empty glasses. I’d had a couple of beers, but I couldn’t risk our game against the Titans, no matter how thirsty the sleeping situation made me.
I was pretty sure Shane didn’t suspect a thing. I’d told him the truth about asking for a room together, but I hadn’t realized it would be a shared freaking bed. Even so, I didn’t want him to see just how freaked-out I was about it. He could get ideas, poor guy, and I would eventually have to break it to him.
Then again, there I was, getting ideas, and they parched my tongue and dried the roof of my mouth.
I tipped my glass and poured the already warm sip of beer into my mouth, wiped my lips, and headed back. Shane hadn’t been in the mood for a drink, and he had decided to stay and look over his literature. “Making sure I observe you correctly tomorrow is more important than what you do tonight,” he’d explained. He was probably right. I wasn’t doing anything of any consequence tonight. Or any night. The only thing I did that ever mattered was on the ice and realizing that kind of sucked. I was ahockey player, not much else. I was a slightly more active version of the old “pretty face and no brains” adage.
It was alright. My life didn’t amount to much when I wasn’t doing the one thing I was good at. Lately, chasing the thrill of a quick fuck didn’t inspire me like it used to. I would have blamed it on Shane’s constant presence and observation, but I knew it ran deeper than that. I’d never had an issue being watched while flirting before.
As I neared the door of the bar, it opened, and Shane stepped in.
“Oh,” I said. “What are you doing here?”
He shrugged. “I saw guys coming back, but you were still out.”
“You were…looking for me?” I asked.
He didn’t answer immediately. His gaze swept the room. “I thought I could have a drink after all.”
“Good idea,” I said. “Drinks all around.”
Shane lifted one corner of his lips into a half smile, and God, he looked cool.
Pull yourself together, I snapped at myself. I had promised myself not to act on this. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t understand the risk of it. I didn’t know how far it would take me or how devastating it would be for Shane. Truth be told, I rarely knew the risks with the girls I hooked up with, either, but they were always aware of that. I’d never picked up a doe-eyed virgin. I’d gone out with the sort of girls who knew exactly what they wanted, and it happened to match what I wanted perfectly. A nice, passionate night of pleasure and a nice breakfast in the morning. As far as I could remember, I’d never led anyone on.
Yet every time I let it slip and flirted with Shane—unintentionally, I might add—he’d perked up as if I was asking him out on a date.
The hard part was that I wanted to. Wouldn’t it be great? Because I could sit across from him over dinner and listen to him tell me why Pluto isn’t a planet and how the Earth came to exist when Zeus picked a grain of sand from under his fingernail during a bath. We’d eat and laugh, and I would say something sweet while looking into his eyes, and he would blush so furiously that my heart would want to explode. And I’d walk him back to his place. And he’d linger before going in. And I would kiss him.
Dammit, I told myself. I’d promised I wouldn’t go there.
Shane and I walked over to the bar near a couple chatting with one another. We ordered drinks and stayed at the bar while the girl laughed loudly at what the guy said.
