“I never forgot about you, Birdie. Not for a single fucking day.”
CHAPTER 37
DON’T BLAME ME
PRESENT
When I exit the bathroom,Jase is nowhere to be found. At least not that I can see. I had to take out my contact lenses before I showered, and my glasses are packed away somewhere with the belongings I left in my car. Heading to the vanity, I wash my hands and put my contacts back in, finally getting a good look at myself in the mirror.
I haven’t seen myself with black hair since the third week into college. Back then, my skin had been ashen, dark circles plagued my under eyes, and my face appeared sunken in from still being so thin. Now?
I see my mother in my reflection. It’s not an exact match, but the resemblance is there nonetheless. Having gotten some sun this summer, I share Mom’s complexion, and the contrast of my long black hair makes the bright blue of my eyes pop. My cheekbones may still be prominent, but the weight I’ve put on has thankfully filled out my face so that the features no longer appear gaunt. The hollowness and blood vessels around the eyes are nonexistent, and my lips are no longer pale, the color a healthy rose pink.
Even though Jase’s t-shirt swallows my body from the thighs up, some curves are still visible beneath the fabric. And despite not wearing a stitch of makeup, I can’t resist smiling.
Because I finally look likeme.
Gently squeezing out the ends of my hair with a towel, I wick as much moisture from it as I can before retreating into the living space, where I find Jase lounging out on the balcony. His back is to me, and I can see a beer bottle dangling from his fingertips as he watches the rainfall. It comes down in a constant sheet, blanketing everything not covered from the elements. Despite the rumble of thunder, the wind has calmed down, so he’s not at risk of getting wet where he sits beneath the floor of the balcony overhead.
With my contact lenses in, I can also see that he’s added something new to the space.
Jase had apparently gone out to find my car, because stacked up in the corner by the bed now rests a familiar set of luggage, my gym bag, and my precious stuffed penguin. He also must have plugged my phone into the charger, because it continues mooing as the vibrations slowly spin the device in a lopsided circle atop the nightstand.
I’m relieved to see the number on the screen belongs to none other than my brother, but hearing his voice makes me grimace.
He’s either short of breath or been panicking a whole hell of a lot, because he practically pants out my name the second I answer, followed by the inevitable.“Ali? Oh, thank God! You scared the shit out of me. Are you okay?”
Derek scoffs at his own question before I have the chance to.
“Of course you’re not. What I meant is, are you safe?”he corrects.“I’m at the house right now. Do you need me to come and get you?”
“I’m fine, and no, I’m staying with a friend.”
“What happened?”
It’s my turn to scoff. “If you’re at the house, I’m sure the Stepmonster and Vanessa already told you their side of things.”
“They did,”he says simply,“but I don’t care about their side right now. I care about you and yours.”
I can’t help but smile at that, collapsing onto the end of the mattress. “Have I ever told you how amazing you are?”
The last thing I want to do is rehash the full extent of Trent and Sienna’s bullshit right now, so I keep things as simple as I can. When I’m done, a long, noisy sigh comes through the other end of the call.
“I knew things had to be bad when I went to your room and realized you left, but the second I saw you even took that stuffed penguin with you…Jesus.”
I chuckle, already hugging Swaddle to my chest. “You know, I don’t think I ever thanked you for him.”
There’s a long, awkward pause that forces me to pull my phone away from my ear to check if the call dropped. It didn’t.
“Derek? You still there?”
After another beat, he finally asks,“You’re talking about the penguin with the bandages around his head, right? The one you got during your stay at the hospital a few years ago?”
“…Yeah.” It sounds more like a question, but his tone doesn’t offer any clarity.
“I didn’t buy that for you,”Derek admits.“I just left you some chocolates. The last penguin I got was the one I found in Atlanta the previous summer. I figured Dad bought Swaddle.”
I laugh, but it sounds more like a snarl. “You’re kidding, right? The Stepmonster’s been trying to get me to throw away all my stuffed animals since I was eleven. You seriously think she’d let Dad buy another penguin for my collection?”
