It also meant I got to watch her again. Rani no longer needed me for her time in the tub; she could handle it on her own now. Did she know I lingered outside the bathroom, listening in case she called out for me? No. But I sat on that hardwood every night anyway.
I traveled deeper, heading to the middle of the pool, and began talking as a distraction.
“I didn’t mean to react the way I did,” I apologized. “I freaked out because I let things go too far without explaining the consequences to you.”
She snorted. “We dry humped against a wall, Ezra. It’s not like you got me pregnant.”
Every muscle from my stomach down clenched. A baby with Rani? A mini red-headed spitfire with tiny gray eyes and ice magick?
Don’t go there, don’t go there. Stop thinking about it!Too late. I was once again rock hard.
I cleared my throat and adjusted my hold so she wouldn’t feel me poking her. “Is that bond in your chest quiet, or a steady hum right now?”
I felt her tilt her head. “It’s kind of… happy?”
That was one way to put it. Mine was downright ecstatic.
“Every time we’re near one another, the bond will make us want to complete it. The urge to touch and get closer will be almost a subconscious need. With me so far?” By the way she stilled in my arms, I knew she was familiar with the effects, even if she didn’t know that’s what they were at the time. “The more we give in, the more we… do what we just did, the stronger the bond gets. There’s some perks and pitfalls to that, but mostly it means things will get hot and heavy between us more often than not. If we let it.”
She wiggled and leaned back. The water came up to her shoulders now, revealing the iridescent scales on her arms. “Eryn said… She said only sex makes it official.”
That one word falling from her lips was enough to undo me all over again. As lust rose on my side of the bond, Rani squirmed. I shut it down before I started something we couldn’t finish.
“That’s correct,” I told her, trying and failing to keep my need for her hidden behind a calm expression. “But the stronger the bond grows, the harder it will be to resist taking that last step. That’s why I was so angry, I knew better, but you didn’t.”
I waited for all the parts to click together, for her to really understand what I was saying. The guilt nearly ate me alive. So did her silence. Walking us back to the steps, I let her go on the bottom one and kept my hands lightly on her hips so she had something tangible to anchor to. Her hands rested on my shoulders while she bit at her bottom lip.
“So, you didn’t regret it?”
Did she really just ask me that? I shook my head and reached out to cup her cheek. I wanted her to look at me when I told her this; to see how completely honest I was when I said,
“That was the best fucking moment of my life.”
CHAPTER 18
Rani
The broiling summer sun cast long shadows across the backyard. I lay on a folded towel under what little shade the small table umbrella provided, and lazily skimmed my hand in the pool. I watched my fingers sink under the surface. They were still visible; still wiggling. Still alive.
Why couldn’t I jump in, knowing I’d look exactly like that if I did? This water wasn’t dark or murky; there was no current or undertow. The sun shone crystal clear all the way to the concrete bottom. The very bottom I could push off to reach the oxygen at the surface.
Trying to gather courage wasn’t going as planned. I’d listed all the obvious reasons it was safe. My brain knew I wasn’t in any danger, but my body threatened to be violently ill if I even thought of taking that leap.
Despite the nausea and heart palpitations that appeared when I thought about it, I missed swimming. So much. I missed the freedom I used to feel floating around, the weightlessness… the silence and peace that came from being underwater.
Used to.
Ezra would be so proud to come back from the store and find you swimming.
Not that I’d be doing it for him. But it would be nice to see the wide smile I knew he’d be wearing. Maybe he would jump in and join me. Maybe he’d pick me up, spin me around, and kiss me senseless as a reward.
The sound of footsteps behind me vaporized my daydream in an instant. Too late to surprise him now. I rolled over, ready for him to say something dirty about my bikini, but when I looked up, the pair of eyes staring back definitely weren’t blue. Horror froze me in place as the djinn exposed all his stained teeth in one slow, sick grin.
I scuttled like a crab, putting the small patio table between us, but that only bought me seconds. The djinn continued his slow stalk toward me, his violent gaze never straying. This couldn’t be happening. It shouldn’t be possible for him to be here, not with the wards in place.
Ezra said they couldn’t get around it…unless…
“Where’s Ezra?” I all but pleaded, body shaking.
