CHAPTER 9
Rani
I took a deep breath and slowly reached toward the faint buzzing. The invisible barrier reminded me of an electric fence; warm and alive, with the potential to knock me on my ass. Not that I’d ever had the urge to touch such a fence, I did accidentally fall into one on my family’s farm… but it wasn’t like I intended to, and the aftershocks were enough to keep me out of the pasture for months after.
This, though, this was different.
Crickets chirped a late tune, and the gravel beneath my boots crunched as I ground my heel down in uncertainty. The barrier was meant to keep the bad guys out, not keep me in—I’d been told—so it shouldn’t, like, zap me or anything if I attempted to walk through it. Hypothetically. Probably. Hopefully?
I bit back a growl at the delay this caused. I only wanted to get out of here for a little bit. A few hours at most. I needed to get away from the fucking sound of the waves I couldn’t escape, even with my windows closed. I needed just a few moments offreedom from the taste of the salt in the air and the memories of what happened that afternoon.
I was pissed at Ezra, but quickly realized that it was the fear talking. It wasn’t his fault I was weak. He had no idea what throwing me in that pool would cause; the spiraling, the self-hatred, the new claw marks on my chest as I hid in my room and fought to breathe. I was on the fast track to another spiral, and only one thing would keep me out of it… avoidance.
I would apologize to Ezra later, when I found a way to do so that didn’t lead to him asking questions better left unanswered. It wouldn’t help. There was no fixing what I’d become. Only surviving it, and that was my plan tonight.
Alicia texted a little while ago to let me know about the party going down at the Theta house. Music, beer, hot guys, there was little more I could ask for as a distraction. A hook-up was the perfect way to get my mind off everything. Better to not be able to breathe from an orgasm than a panic attack.
My phone chirped, letting me know Alicia had already arrived at the party. With a final glance back at the silent house, I bit my lip in case this hurt, and stepped through the barrier. Warm sparks danced over my skin but there was no pain. I wasn’t convulsing on the floor and pissing myself, a truly great sign for the evening. A quick dash down the drive, a duck onto the limestone road that bordered the forest, and I was one wooded path away from campus.
The rich-ass neighborhood where Kai’s beach house was located maintained these private jogging paths. They were paved, heavily lit, and only a ten-minute walk from campus. Which was just enough time for me to contemplate my stupid life choices.
What if everyone remembered what happened at the Kappa Bash? I hadn’t seen anything online, thankfully, and no one texted me or kicked me out of the sorority. So, it was safe toassume everyone had forgotten or chalked it up to too many drinks, right? I could deal with that. A little embarrassment wouldn’t stop me.
That didn’t mean I was an idiot. I made sure my magick was pushed way,waydown. There was no beach nearby or even a pool in the Theta backyard to trigger another siren call, so I should be fine for a few hours of responsible forgetting. I wanted to let loose and feel normal again.
With Kai and Eryn gone and keeping the djinn distracted, I was safe enough. They didn’t need to worry about little ’ol me and a keg of lukewarm beer. It was only a few hours. It was going to be okay.
That was my mantra for the night.
Stepping onto Greek Row, the loud music was the first thing to greet me. Solo cups, dancing, and colorful strobe lights in the living room window were next. Perfect. I steeled myself for judgment or, at the very least, confused stares, but no one even noticed my arrival.
The bass thumped through my chest, making me feel something without having to loosen the reins on my emotions. I swiftly lost myself in the mass of grinding bodies just off the kitchen. My hips swiveled and shook, beer spilled from my cup and onto my sparkly top, but most of it made it down my throat.
When I ran out, I got another. And another. It was the most free I’d felt since waking up covered in salt and sand. Two large hands gripped my waist, pulling my already short skirt even higher up my thighs. An equally proportionally large body pressed up against my back. I felt them sync with me and then lead my body to the new rhythm the next song churned out.
Excitement took flight in my belly, and for the first time in forever, my breath hitched with something other than panic. This guy had better be hot, or I was about to be seriouslydisappointed. I spun in his arms and looked into a pair of hazel eyes, warm and hooded with desire.
I gave him a critical glance, but the more I inspected, the less excited I felt. He wasn’t much taller than me, and looking up only showed how he spiked his hair. There was no penetrating gaze staring back down.Strike one. Thick muscles were usually a turn-on, but this dude had too much. I preferred them lean, not stacked so much that they lost their neck.Strike two.
And his hair. It was dark and not nearly long enough for me to run my fingers through. I wanted blond, with enough length that I could grab on and make them shut up when their snark got out of control. I liked…
I stumbled, and Not-Prince-Charming’s drink splashed on the both of us. Holy fucking shit. I… I just compared him to Ezra.
Me. The girl who knew better than to take an interest in a serial player, just motherfucking fantasized about none other than the king of them. No. It was the alcohol and some sort of twisted Stockholm syndrome. I needed to erase Ezra from my mind right the fuck now.
I smiled at the guy in apology and wrapped my arms around his neck. It was pure spite that made me dance with him now. Not that he cared. He pulled me closer and kept pace in a sort of impressive way. Sweat gathered beneath the clip that held my hair back in a messy knot.
My solo cup was long lost under the feet of the other dancers, but somehow shots of tequila made their way around the room. More than once. I hated the taste, but the afterburn and the way they made me feel detached from my problems was enough to have me looking for a third.
Honestly, the guy wasn’t so bad now. I still didn’t know his name, didn’t care really, but his muscles glistened under the strobe lights, and they made my mouth water when I wonderedhow it would feel to be held against the wall by them. He sure looked strong enough to accomplish something like that.
So, when the nameless muscle leaned down and asked, “Do you want to go outside?”
I didn’t hesitate. I nodded and allowed him to grab my hand and lead me from the overcrowded house. The cool air was a shock to the system, and I gulped down several large breaths while fanning my heated skin. A few stragglers were vaping on the other side of the yard, but most of the party were crammed in by the DJ booth.
The bass echoed all the way out here, and my chest warmed when the now slightly appealing, but still too short, guy turned to face me. His cheeks were flushed from the alcohol, and it gave him an even more youthful appearance. Another thump in my chest as he pulled me close.
Maybe this was attraction? Something pulsed, right between my boobs. It thrummed in time with my heart, which started to race, and I’d only ever felt like this when I was around—
