I could have had my hands on her ass this whole time? Fucking missed opportunity.
“No, it’s me trying to help.”
“Well, I don’t need help!”
Lies. No amount of yelling or bared teeth could hide what she was so desperately trying to. I cocked my head and watchedas her little ripped hands pushed on my arms. When that didn’t work, she started pinching me. Hard. I clenched my teeth against the pain her nails delivered.
“Asking for help doesn't make you weak. Ouch!”
Her nostrils flared, and a spark relit in her gaze. I didn’t know what endless pool she drew from, but she was building up to a meltdown. She was too exhausted to go another round, and I wasn’t sure I could get her through it safely. Time to nip it in the bud.
“There you go, getting cranky again.” I tapped her nose.
“I’m not cranky!”
I might have understated.
“Then it must be the workout that’s got you overheated,” I replied, sarcasm dripping from every word. “Time to cool off.”
I tightened my hold on her and spun. The pool was only a couple steps away, and I threw us both into the deep end with only a warning for her to take a breath. The cool water closed over us and eased the heat from the afternoon and its strenuous activities. Rani thrashed in my arms, and I finally let her go, before pushing off the bottom and breaking the surface with a laugh.
The bubbles were still settling from where we landed, but Rani hadn’t come up. I saw her at the bottom, legs and arms floundering only inches from the concrete floor. The first pulse of her power shook the foundation of the pool, and I knew something was very,verywrong. Could she not swim?
Panic and absolute terror radiated down our bond. I shouldn't have felt her emotions; it was too soon, but they were that strong. I dove down as another tremor sent massive waves above the surface. My vision of Rani grew clearer the closer I got, and my heart broke with what I saw.
Her face was twisted in a mask of fear, mouth open in a silent scream as her hands clawed for the surface. She didn’teven notice she was on the bottom. One strong kick and she’d be out. Her pain was enough to twist my gut, and I swam harder to reach her. She fought me when I wrapped my arms around her waist, but the hits were weak from lack of oxygen. We shot up in one quick push, and I lifted her a little more so she was the first to get her head above the water.
She sputtered and gasped as I brought us to the stairs. Every second she clung to me, my guilt grew. Rani wasn’t prone to hysteria; if anything, she was stubborn enough to ignore it. But I had a sick feeling I’d broken another piece of her with my joke.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered over and over into her wet hair. “I’m so sorry.”
She answered in shakes. Her skin was covered in goosebumps as I carried her to the grass, far from the water. I set her down and reached for a towel. A hand shot out and clutched at my arm, the nails digging in until I bled.
“You’re going to be all right,” I told her, ignoring the pain of her grip. “Breathe with me, baby.”
She didn’t speak. Didn’t yell. I checked in through our bond and was met with numbness. Over her shoulder, the pool still shook, its water choppy and violent, like a mini sea trapped in a concrete tomb.
Gods, what have I done?
I stretched as far as I could and reached the folded beach towels on a nearby bench. I wrapped her in one, pulled her into my lap, and rocked her to try and ease her trembling. I wasn’t sure if it was my scent or the warmth of my body that eventually calmed her, but her shaking ceased.
She still clutched at my soaked shirt, and I held her head to my chest. My fingers ran over her waterlogged hair, pulling the matted strands from her cheeks. I wasn’t sure how long we sat there like that, but it wasn’t until the summer sun had us almostcompletely dry that she pushed away from me and sat on her own.
I was reluctant to let her go, but I knew she needed to get her own bearings. Be on solid ground, so to speak.
“I’m so sorry,” I told her again. I sounded like a broken record, but aside from pleading with her to not hate me, there were no other words I could form. Some type of explanation maybe? “I didn’t think—I didn’t know you would—”
“I’m okay,” she replied, pushing away. She stood on shaky legs and clutched that towel around her in a death grip.
The pool beside us was glassy and still. Her power wasn’t out of control anymore, but I saw the way she eyed it and then the door. Her chin trembled, and I knew she was thinking about having to pass all that water to get back inside. I was an idiot. If she let me, I planned to spend every waking minute making this up to her.
“You’re not okay,” I insisted. “You’re shaking. Please, let me help you.”
I reached for her, but she backed away. My heart crumbled, and the bond between us pulled taut. I’d never forget the monotony of her voice or the blankness of her face. It was like all the life in her had been snuffed out. Even the rage.
“You’ve done enough.”
She slowly made her way back inside while I fell apart on the back patio. I’d never felt like such a failure. It was enough that I couldn’t properly protect my cousin and his bonded last year and I failed at my duty as guardian. But to fail my own bond? I wasn’t worthy of her. It was a fact I’d always known. This just proved it. She deserved far better than a fuck up like me.
