I remembered her flinches all too vividly, and it practically killed me each time she did it. I thought we were making progress. I froze an entire shelf in the pantry today, and she barely even blinked. Her magick didn’t rise to meet mine like it should have, but at least she wasn’t terrified anymore.
Maybe she was more desensitized than over it. She was obviously suppressing her power, and unfortunately, this was the outcome. Her nightmares would only grow stronger as her body and mind fought enemies on two fronts. When her whimpers turned into groans and then soft screams, I knew I couldn't let her go on like this.
She might kill me for invading her privacy or seeing her in such a vulnerable state, but I couldn’t walk away. Her pain was a thorn in my chest, throbbing and sinking deeper and deeper with each tug of the blankets in her clenched fists.
“Hey, hey, shhh,” I whispered, easing myself across the cool hardwood until I stood beside the large bed. “Rani, baby, it's just a dream.”
She clutched the side of the mattress, her eyes rolling behind tightened lids. I caught brief flashes of white as if she could see her tormentors physically hovering over her. Dropping to my knees, I brought us face to face. Up close, the physical proof ofher suffering was even more clear, and my voice came out a little rougher than I wanted.
“They can’t have you,” I told her, gently prying her fingers from the wrinkled comforter. They quickly squeezed my hand instead. “Tell them they have to go through me first. Tell them how I willdestroyanyone who dares to touch you.”
I didn’t know what I was doing. When someone needed comforting, it wasn’t usual to offer them threats of violence against their enemies instead, but that’s what I found myself saying. Over and over again, I told her how I’d protect her. I swore to stand between her and the world. I promised my magick and my loyalty. I came all too close to renouncing my vows to my cousin and swearing them to her instead.
Whether or not she actually understood what I said, her thrashing eased until only the tension in her muscles told me she wasn’t at peace quite yet.
“You don’t need me fighting this battle for you, baby, I’ve seen your fury, remember? Chase those demons the fuck out of there and come back to me. I’m right here.”
Her hand squeezed mine, an involuntary reflex, but I answered with a brush of my thumb across her skin. Slowly, so slowly, her face smoothed into a mask of calm, and her grip on my fingers stopped cutting off circulation. Her body sank into the mattress, and she exhaled in relief.
Throughout it all, she didn’t wake once. I wasn’t sure if it was my words or my presence that calmed her, or if I was giving myself too much credit altogether, and the nightmare had run its course. Gently, I eased a small piece of hematite from my pocket. The crystal was used for a lot of things—courage, healing, will power, protection—and I willed all of those into existence before sliding it beneath her pillow.
I hoped it held off her nightmares. I hoped it brought her peace. Fuck, I hoped it gave her the strength to find the girl sheused to be. The one Eryn told me whacked a djinn in the head with a rock to save her. The same girl that threatened me on a daily basis when she thought I kidnapped her best friend. I hoped she found her courage and that I was here to see it.
Even if I wasn’t, I needed to believe that she would be okay. And that wasn’t the bond talking. That wasme; the fucked up, unworthy, half-human witch who was already a little bit in love with her. A crystal wasn’t going to fix everything; it needed to come from her, but I swore to the gods right then and there that I would do everything in my power to help.
I settled on the hard floor, back against the dresser, and let out a small groan when the blood rushed back to my knees. Our joined hands hung over the side of the bed, but I didn’t let go. It was uncomfortable as fuck, and yet I knew I was about to get the best sleep I’d ever had in my life. I fell asleep to the sound of her breathing and hoped I woke before she did. Otherwise, all the freshly curated peace in this house wouldn’t save me from her wrath.
Worth it.
CHAPTER 7
Rani
I woke with a clear mind and dry feet. For once, I wasn’t exhausted and dirty from a night of sleepwalking. I was downright rested. The rage was on a low simmer, lost somewhere in the back of my mind, and it felt like a weight lifted off my chest. Too much thinking and I knew that simmer would turn back into a boil, but maybe this was the first step?
Maybe I was finally in control?
My gaze kept pulling to the side of the bed, as if my mind expected someone to be there. It conjured up images of a safe figure, crouched on the floor and holding my hand. Wishful thinking. All I saw was my phone lit up and vibrating with a name I wasn’t too sure I wanted to speak with right now. Not when I was finally feeling like myself.
Eryn hadn’t tried calling me since she left, and I knew it was to give me some space. I wouldn’t consider three days a significant amount of time, but she worried. Despite all the anger and blame I secretly laid at her feet, I knew that much. I knew none of this was intentional.
With an unusually clear mind, I wondered what would happen if I answered? Before I could think too much on it, I tapped the green button and waited. My mouth was glued shut. My impulsive actions only carried me to this point; I didn’t actually know what I was supposed to say.
“I can hear you breathing, you know?” Eryn’s soft voice carried through the speaker. “It’s kind of creepy.”
“Hi,” I whispered.
“Hi.”
More awkward silence followed. All the thoughts and feelings normally hidden behind my rage, lined up and pushed their way to my mouth. It took all my willpower to hold them in and not spew a bunch of random, hurtful thoughts. Thankfully, Eryn moved over the silence with nothing but a gentle acknowledgment of it.
“I wanted to check in and see how you were doing.” The tentative hum of her nerves rang loud and clear in her tone.
She was afraid I was going to bite her head off—my usual these days. I double-checked, but the rage didn’t rise at the thought of my isolation, so my answer was more sarcastic than anything. It kind of felt like my old self.
“Well, let’s see, I’m stuck in the house with nowhere to go and nothing to do. There’s no distractions besides my textbook and assignments, which are slightly triggering if I’m being completely honest, and you left me here with an overly sexualized witch version of Legolas who keeps staring at my ass when he thinks I don’t notice.”
There was a snort on the other end that she quickly tried to muffle, and my lips twitched in response. Itwasa pretty funny, but accurate, description. If Legolas had short hair… and spoke to Aragorn in nothing but innuendos.
